Loving Father or Spiteful Punisher

Hello, is there anybody out there? Now I've got Pink Floyd's The Wall album running through my head.

WARNING! This post is going to be a little on the preachy side, and 90% religious.  So if you're not interested in my opinion about God I'd suggest you go back to trolling YouTube channels for videos of cats.

Recently I was having a conversation with a wise old man, that many of you know as Grant.  Of course his favorite book, Love Wins, came up in our discussion. I mentioned that upon perusing said book it all sounded like the exact same things I learned in church all growing up, be kind, love everyone, God loves you, yadda yadda yadda. As often does while at work, our conversation was interrupted by our obligations to our employer.  But as Grant was walking away he made a final response to my statement saying that this book portrays God as an all loving Father rather than the spiteful, all powerful, punisher that is taught in religions world wide. This statement has obviously been on my mind since that encounter a week ago, so I've decided to write this post to spew forth my thoughts and opinions.

As you may or may not know/care, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, or just Mormons if you're lazy. I am by no means a Peter Priesthood ( a not-so-loving nick name given to Mormons that have a "holier than thou" attitude). And nobody, except my children, would ever call me perfect. Hell, most strangers I meet don't even believe I'm Mormon.

So this is how I've interpreted the things I've read in scriptures and have been taught in Sunday school. God is an all loving Father, above everything else. He loves you, He loves me, He loves the people you and I love, and He even loves the people you and I hate. He loves all his children regardless of their race, religion, or which football team they favor. It doesn't matter what good works you've done in your life or what horrible mistakes you've made, He loves you.  I've never read in the Bible "God so loved only the Christians......".

However, I do understand my friends comment that religions preach of a vengeful God.  I'm not a stranger to other religions, and have heard many opinions of man, mingled with scripture.  I've heard the tales of a fiery pit where souls are tortured for an eternity because they told a lie.  I've been told that I'm born of sin and am inherently evil. I've even heard that I'm an insignificant accident of gelatinous primordial ooze that spontaneously evolved, for no apparent reason or purpose, into a semi intelligent creature. To all these people I say "ROTFLMAO!"

I am not saying there is no consequences to our actions.  Newton understood "To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction".  Just like kicking a coffee table barefoot, sins come with their own painful consequences.  Does that make God spiteful?  When you tell your child not to touch the stove because they will get burned are you being a tyrant?  And when they touch the stove and get burned, is it logical that your child should blame you for the burn? Just because God lovingly warns us what not to do, and sometimes even goes the extra mile to explain to us what may happen if we don't listen, doesn't mean he is the reason we get punished.  Just as you understand and comprehend much more than your young children, God knows infinitely more than us.  When you tell your kid not to eat a piece of cake before dinner what does your child think? I know my kids think I'm the meanest father in the world. They've not yet discovered the importance of eating healthy foods and the consequences of eating too much crap. Am I denying them cake because I'm mean, or is it because I love them and care for their well being and health?

Hell.  What is hell?  Personally I do not believe in a hole in the ground, surrounded by pits of lava and brimstone, where the devil rams pineapples into Hitler's bung whole for all eternity. I believe hell is an emotional state of being, like depression or anger. A constant feeling of regret and guilt for poor choices we made and never tried to rectify.  Try to recall how you felt when you were a child (before learning to self medicate and ignore such feelings) when you lied to your parents or stole from a friend. Now just magnify that feeling by all the bigger mistakes you've made and times it by forever. That, to me, is hell.

The other side of the coin, heaven.  A place to dwell in God's presence. So you're asking "if God loves us so much why doesn't he just let us all come to heaven, regardless of our actions?".  Would you really want to live in God's presences if you didn't do what he asked? When you were young and your mother found out you shaved your sisters head I'm sure you heard the dreaded phrase "Just you wait until your father gets home!".  Did you want your father to come home?  Hell no! You wanted to be anywhere but home.  Your father still loved you, even though you did something stupid.  But until you were ready to apologize and take your lumps you didn't want to be within reach of him.  God, loving us infinitely more than our earthly fathers, and even more than we love our children, understands the anguish and torment we would feel to be in his presence having made stupid mistakes and not repenting (trying to rectify the mistake and feeling a genuine sense of sorrow for the mistake).  For those of his children that choose not to repent, no matter how much more it hurts him to not have us with him, he allows for them to not be in his presence because their pain would be too great.

There you have the gospel according to KG.  Just like me, it's imperfect and flawed, as it is just the opinions of this ignorant man.  But this is my best attempt to explain what I feel about God and his endless love.  I love Him and know that He loves me.

I'd like an LGBT on sourdough, please.

Hey, you remember me?

Even though I have a knack for the offensive, and take great pride in my skill to agitate and irritate people, this post is not intended to be a platform for gay bashing or judging. So please keep your comments civil and as on topic as possible.  If you would like to make a disparaging remark about homosexuals, please log into your account at www.IgnorantBiggot/ImADumbass.gov.

The question I submit to my LGBT friends and friends of LGBT persons is this.  What are your feelings about a female that avidly lives the lesbian lifestyle, and publicly expresses disgust for male genitally for years, then out of the blue "decides" to be straight and gets married to a man?

A little background; As I've walked this earth for several decades I have had the pleasure of meeting many interesting people. I have known a few (more than 3) females that fit the scenario previously presented. These women all seem to fit into a similar class.  They would not be considered attractive by the grossly skewed and highly overrated standards of the world.  They all appear to have low self esteem and body image issues.  And they all crave to be loved, as we all do. So I've often asked myself, "self, are these gals pretending to be lesbian to find companionship from women who are naturally less judgmental?".

Lets call our example female Olga.  My question is, is Olga pretending to be a lesbian to find companionship with other females, or when a man shows interest is Olga pretending to be straight to fit in with perceived social norms?  And what intrigues me more is how is this changing-of-teams viewed by others that live the LGBT lifestyle?  Is Olga shunned for being a liar? Or is Olga shunned for being straight? Personally, I think Olga should be accepted for Olga, no matter which way her flag is flying.  I'm sure most people, either hetero or homosexual, feel the same way.  But just as there are straight people with very obscene and warped views, I can only assume there are those minorities in the LGBT community with the same mental deficiency.

A point of clarification, in case my choice of words are misconstrued; I don't believe being straight or homosexual is a choice.  You're either born with tendencies to be attracted to people of the same sex, or the opposite sex.  But people choose how they respond to those feelings.  So when I say "choose to live the lifestyle", I'm not saying that there is a choice between being gay or not.

Back to Olga, I'd like to know your opinions.  It doesn't matter one way or the other, Olga is free to choose as she wishes and we should all be respectful of her choices.  But my morbid sense of curiosity would like to hear your points of view.  The more points of view a person has on a subject allows one with an open mind to expand their understanding. (That sounds pretty zen. I think I discovered a new mantra).

Doomsday

Welcome back, I've missed y'all.

So I'm not going to get into the plethora of reasons I've not written in awhile, and I'm not promising a regular blog full of random verbal vomit, but I do have something on my mind that I need to write out to make sense of it.

We have all been blessed with so much. And I do mean all of you as well. If you're reading this you've obviously got Internet access, the ability to see, the ability to read, and you're alive. That's a lot more than many of people in the world, even here in the good ol' US of A. I personally also have a lot more to be thankful for. Regardless of the trivial problems I've had in my life, its been a very easy one. I've obviously never gone hungry ::insert your favorite fat jokes here:: I've never had to sleep on the street. I've never really feared for my life (not counting the times my life was at risk because of teenage stupidity). I've never been truly alone or unloved. And I'm not trying to say that I'm ungrateful for any of these things, but I can't help but feel like disaster is standing outside my door.

I don't care if you believe in God, karma, the universe, human nature, or whatever. But everyone believes in something that attributes to cause and effect. What I mean is, with the exception of serial killers, we all hold to some type of belief that we should do good and be good and good things will come. If we do bad, bad things will happen, unless of course you're rich or famous then you can do all the bad stuff you want. Personally I believe in God. I believe he is all knowing, all powerful, and everything I have in my life comes from him. I believe he loves everyone equally, even if they don't love him back. I try to be a good person, I try to be appreciative of everything I'm given, I try to share with those in need and be loving and kind to all people, regardless of their religion, politics, or favorite sports teams. So what I can't figure out is why I constantly have this semi subconscious concern that something bad is going to happen to me, and it will be my fault.

Generally I don't subscribe to the philosophy that bad things happen ONLY to those that deserve them. No child ever deserves to suffer for any reason, ever. People aren't killed by drunk drivers or murders because they didn't tip a waitress. Floods, earthquakes, fires, and other natural disasters don't happen because someone stole from a collection plate. Bad things happen in this world that have no earthly explanation, and that's just the way it is. However, my feeling of imminent doom has a haunting aura of personal responsibility. It's a sense that I'm responsible for whatever may come, and only I have the power to prevent it. I just don't know what more I'm supposed to do or if there is really anything lurking my way.

Maybe its part of being a parent. My biggest fear is always something happening to one of my girls. And hopefully it's just a little paranoia mixing in with the other mental ailments I am collecting. Or maybe it's all the shows I've been watching on Netflix lately where the characters are in hopeless situations (Jericho, Day Break, Skyline). Maybe its a subconscious realization that no matter how many birthday wishes I make, I'll never win the lottery. Perhaps it may be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato....

After proof reading this I've got a sneaking suspicious many of you are going to want to have me admitted into a psych ward. I wouldn't blame you, but good luck catching me. I just wanted to get all these thoughts out on virtual paper to help me work through them. So feel free to provide constructive comments, loving jabs, or bitchy remarks. Either way this is more for me than you so I'm sorry if you leave feeling unsatisfied, as long as you leave.

KG

Guest Rant: I Hear A George Michael Song....

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Today's guest rant is more of a stolen blog from http://itsjustbecky.blogspot.com/ but since I was the reason she decided to write this blog I have no problem reposting it. =) So lets get to it.



"(KG suggested that I blog about my thoughts on faith.)

The Wikipedia definition of faith is: The confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person, concept or thing. And from Dictionary.com: a belief not based on proof. So to combine them, it would be: The confident belief or trust in the truth or trustworthiness of a person, concept, thing or belief that can not be proven.

The various things we have faith in are not provable. But am I not correct when saying they should still be able to withstand scrutiny? It says the person, concept, thing or belief should be trustworthy. So what if you feel that the person, concept, thing or belief that you are supposed to have faith in is not trustworthy? What if your experience shows that it is not worthy of your trust? If you had a friend that always told you that they'd be there for you but never was when you really needed them, would you consider that friend trustworthy? If you had a friend that told you they would never get mad at you, but then gave you the silent treatment, would you consider that friend trustworthy? When you scrutinize those two situations, you have to come to the conclusion that they are not. Therefore, you couldn't really have faith in them. They would be proven unfaithful. But what if you knew that a large percentage of the world would line up in front of you and testify that they are trustworthy - that they are the only people that you actually trust in all things. Would that not create cognitive dissonance? You know know they are faithful yet you feel they have not been faithful to you.

Okay. So what do we do about having faith in God? We can not prove God's existence. We have evidence of him in many things, but no proof. One of those evidences is the bible. The bible is full of promises to us. If I weren't so tired and lazy, I'd look up a few of them. But you know all the ones I'm talking about. So what do you do when you do not see proof of the promises made by God? If he promises you comfort, and you beg and plead for it but do not receive comfort, what does that mean? If he promises to be there for you when you need him, but then is silent when you DO need him, what does that mean? In the instances before, we decided that would mean that he's not trustworthy and therefore unfaithful.

But how dare I say God is unfaithful? We go to church and are reminded every time that God is faithful to us. But does that mean He is? We're told he would never abandon us, but what if he does? What if when you really need him, you get none of the help or comfort from him that you beg and plead for? What are you to think? Can we really have faith in those promises? If something is true, it's true. If it's not, it's not. I believe in God. I do. But I do not understsand him. I feel as if I shouldn't be able to trust him right now, because I feel none of the comfort or support that he has promised and that I so desparately need from him.

When I bring this up, I'm usually told, "No, to have faith in God means you just trust him to do what's right for you and accept his will." But where does it say that? I don't see that anywhere . Maybe it's just that none of those scriptures are coming to mind at the moment. But that's not one of the definitions of faith. Someone must have said that once and it just hung on.

And what do you do when your faith goes unacknowledged? How do you keep hoping (related to faith) if your hope is never rewarded? Do you just hope that one day it will be, even though it hasn't so far? I don't understand. I sure wish I could, because it would be so much better to be able to have faith.

But I can't right now. When I need him the most, all I get is silence. Time and time again. Everytime. Silence from the heavens. How do you trust someone that's let you down? (And I know a lot of you should know because I know I let a lot of you down. So how do YOU do it ?)


Becky"

Be It Ever So Humble, There's No Place Like Home

Welcome to Wednesday. Only days until Spring Break, and it still feels like the middle of Winter outside! Brrr.


But enough walloping on that deceased equine. I don't really want to rant today, rather I'm going to overstate the obvious. Yesterday I had the privilege to volunteer in a local homeless shelter. This shelter is unique as it allows entire families (fathers, mothers, and children) to sleep together in a semi private room. But the shelter also sleeps single men and women, in separate areas of course.

I'm painfully aware that most of us are no more than a missed paycheck or two away from being homeless ourselves. And I'm not saying that everyone that is homeless is in that situation because of their own choices. But what did frustrate me was to see the families with small children that were in the situation they are in because of the choices of the parents.

If you would rather purchase drugs and alcohol instead of paying rent, that's your choice. But when you are a parent you forfeit the right to be selfish, and you need to do everything in your power to provide for your children. Even if that means going hungry yourself!

I met some great people that work at the shelter, and some that live there as they try to get back on their feet. As I talked with them, especially those that are there as employees or volunteers, they all said the hardest thing for them to see was the families that were there because of the bad choices of their parents. I had to agree.

I'm sure you all have different opinions about homeless people, and I'm sure some of you refuse to give money to them when you see them at the grocery store because you feel "they're just going to buy booze" but I personally will go out of my way to stop to give them some money.
I'm not saying this to toot my own horn by any means. The biggest reason I do it is a selfish one. Flower is usually with me when we go to the store. And every time she sees me give money to a person in need she will ask me why I've done that. After answering her several times I now just ask her back, why she thinks I did. And to hear her answer back every time " because they need the money more than we do, and it's what Jesus would do" is reward enough for me. For all the bad examples I do and am for my children, I hope the very few good ones are the ones they remember and imitate when they grow up.

A side comment to those people that really do believe that homeless people are just going to spend the money on drugs or alcohol: I would rather gamble my money on the chance that they will waste it rather than miss the opportunity to help someone that really will buy food for them or their children.


KG

Guest Rant: I Heart Boobies!

Hello kids, ya' miss me?

Well, I'm still not back 100%. I don't quite have the $400+ it would cost to fix my laptop, and this little netbook I am using is too small to type a decent rant. But thanks to an eager volunteer today we have a guest rant that I'm sure will get some interesting comments. I can't personally empathize, but this is definitely a topic near to my umm ......heart. =)

Enjoy


"I want my boobies back!

Breastfeeding sucks the life out of boobs. "They" say it's not the nursing but the pregnancy that robs innocent mammaries of their structural integrity. Well, maybe "they" didn't describe it that way, but that's how I just did. I don't know if it happened to me during the three times I was heavy with child, or if it occurred amid the 4 collective years I breastfed my babies (This is not per child! I said collective years). All I know is somewhere along the way my boobies died an unjust death. What once were voluminous, fleshy peaches converted bit by bit into deflated, listless sacks of flesh.

After the baby is weaned, the milk dries up and takes with it every last drop of a naked young mom's dignity. I don't know if this happens to all women after nursing is suspended. I obviously haven't asked everyone (I'm shy like that) , but I kind of hope I'm not the only one whose boobies suffered ignominious damage as a direct result of carrying out my motherly duties.

I would think that after enduring nine months of discomfort during pregnancy, compounded by the the incomparable pain that takes place at birth, followed by round-the-clock milkings...after all the sacrifices mothers make for the welfare of their offspring, shouldn't we at least get to keep our beautiful boobies, maybe as a token of appreciation for a job well done? Nope...

Many smaller-busted mommies are thrilled with their expanding jug size as a pregnancy progresses. Then after the baby is born and the milk gates are opened, their breasts become astonishingly large and engorged (this varies, of course). It's far too uncomfy and hurts too much to fully appreciate them in that phase, but it is still sort of an ego boost (even though they look really fake and about ready to erupt). All one can do for relief is stand in the warm shower for a few days until the milk volume stabilizes. The size of the breasts at any point in the duration of nursing is usually substantial, but when the mom discontinues the practice she is soon going to realize that her bosoms will end up smaller than they were before she ever got pregnant. Any hope she had of maintaining a bit of the pillowy fullness she'd grown to appreciate is soon shattered by the cruel reality of fate.

So there is some major renovation that breasts inevitably undergo. And when I say renovation, I don't mean a boob make-over. I mean a boob screw-over! A woman starts out with nice, sound boobies. Then they swell to astronomical proportions. Then comes the gradual draining of all life and substance, with the sad end result of more skin than filling. They are goners. There is pretty much no hope of ever reuniting with the pre-baby boobies again.

Following many months of recovery, and I'm talking 8 or more, some semblance of firmness has mercifully been restored to mine. They are acceptable at best, but only from the front view, after a bit of necessary fluffing, and definitely only when it's below room temperature. ;) I'm trying to deal with the fact that my "girls" are never going to be the same. If it were up to me, all women who sacrifice their time, strength and boobs to feeding their young would be blessed with a rack at least twice as nice as it was before.

I realize all women - not just childbearing, breastfeeding mommies - inevitably deal with progressive chest changes. Women of all ages should be entitled to this one (well, two...) constant assurance-- good, unaltered boobies for life. Is that really asking too much?"


Shannon
http://randomshannon.blogspot.com/

Blogalkers

Hello strangers. Even though I am still on my court ordered Facebook hiatus I thought I should at least write a rant.


Today's topic doesn't really apply to me, but I have a friend that is thoroughly bothered by this concept. Blog Stalkers, or Blogalkers as I'm going to start calling them. Some people put a lot of time and energy into writing their blogs ( I'm obviously still not talking about me) and then feel somewhat let down when nobody comments.

On one hand, I don't really see why this would bother anyone. Personally I write my blog for myself, because I have something I want to say. Occasionally I write because I get tired of the bitching and moaning from that one person that complains whenever I don't rant, you know who you are. But either way, I don't write for public accolades. That may just be me. I'm also the kind of person that doesn't wear clothes to get compliments. I only wear clothes that are comfortable and only because it's still frowned upon to trot around naked in public.

On the other hand, I can see my friends point of view. She feels like she is baring her soul to the world and would like to know that at least one person cares enough about her to say "atta' girl".

So my short little message today is for all you Blogalkers. While surfing around spying on the private lives of thousands of people, would it kill you to say "atta' girl" once in awhile?

Now lets see how many of you smart asses write "atta' girl" in my comments.


Cya when I cya.