Guest Rant: I Heart Boobies!

Hello kids, ya' miss me?

Well, I'm still not back 100%. I don't quite have the $400+ it would cost to fix my laptop, and this little netbook I am using is too small to type a decent rant. But thanks to an eager volunteer today we have a guest rant that I'm sure will get some interesting comments. I can't personally empathize, but this is definitely a topic near to my umm ......heart. =)

Enjoy


"I want my boobies back!

Breastfeeding sucks the life out of boobs. "They" say it's not the nursing but the pregnancy that robs innocent mammaries of their structural integrity. Well, maybe "they" didn't describe it that way, but that's how I just did. I don't know if it happened to me during the three times I was heavy with child, or if it occurred amid the 4 collective years I breastfed my babies (This is not per child! I said collective years). All I know is somewhere along the way my boobies died an unjust death. What once were voluminous, fleshy peaches converted bit by bit into deflated, listless sacks of flesh.

After the baby is weaned, the milk dries up and takes with it every last drop of a naked young mom's dignity. I don't know if this happens to all women after nursing is suspended. I obviously haven't asked everyone (I'm shy like that) , but I kind of hope I'm not the only one whose boobies suffered ignominious damage as a direct result of carrying out my motherly duties.

I would think that after enduring nine months of discomfort during pregnancy, compounded by the the incomparable pain that takes place at birth, followed by round-the-clock milkings...after all the sacrifices mothers make for the welfare of their offspring, shouldn't we at least get to keep our beautiful boobies, maybe as a token of appreciation for a job well done? Nope...

Many smaller-busted mommies are thrilled with their expanding jug size as a pregnancy progresses. Then after the baby is born and the milk gates are opened, their breasts become astonishingly large and engorged (this varies, of course). It's far too uncomfy and hurts too much to fully appreciate them in that phase, but it is still sort of an ego boost (even though they look really fake and about ready to erupt). All one can do for relief is stand in the warm shower for a few days until the milk volume stabilizes. The size of the breasts at any point in the duration of nursing is usually substantial, but when the mom discontinues the practice she is soon going to realize that her bosoms will end up smaller than they were before she ever got pregnant. Any hope she had of maintaining a bit of the pillowy fullness she'd grown to appreciate is soon shattered by the cruel reality of fate.

So there is some major renovation that breasts inevitably undergo. And when I say renovation, I don't mean a boob make-over. I mean a boob screw-over! A woman starts out with nice, sound boobies. Then they swell to astronomical proportions. Then comes the gradual draining of all life and substance, with the sad end result of more skin than filling. They are goners. There is pretty much no hope of ever reuniting with the pre-baby boobies again.

Following many months of recovery, and I'm talking 8 or more, some semblance of firmness has mercifully been restored to mine. They are acceptable at best, but only from the front view, after a bit of necessary fluffing, and definitely only when it's below room temperature. ;) I'm trying to deal with the fact that my "girls" are never going to be the same. If it were up to me, all women who sacrifice their time, strength and boobs to feeding their young would be blessed with a rack at least twice as nice as it was before.

I realize all women - not just childbearing, breastfeeding mommies - inevitably deal with progressive chest changes. Women of all ages should be entitled to this one (well, two...) constant assurance-- good, unaltered boobies for life. Is that really asking too much?"


Shannon
http://randomshannon.blogspot.com/