Guest Rant : Lazy or Economic Stimulant?

Speaking of lazy.....I enlisted the help of Amanda Olsen to write this weeks guest rant. You can find more of her amazing, and some not so amazing, writings on her blogs: http://www.dontgetboredinidaho.blogspot.com & http://www.makingdinnersucks.blogspot.com

Cya in 7

"I hate cleaning. It sucks. I have better things to do with my time. So I have housecleaners do it for me. Yes, that's my attitude. Do you have a problem with that? Why? Do you think I'm lazy? Spoiled? Impractical? Undisciplined?

Is that what you would think of yourself if you got housecleaners? Why? Why would you think that about yourself? Oh, because you can do it yourself? Yeah, well, I can do a lot of things for myself, too, that I don't do.

I could teach my daughter guitar lessons, but instead I send her to a professional. I could teach my daughter how to swim but I still enroll her in swim lessons every year. I could fertilize the lawn instead of paying Scotts to do it. I could make my own pizza or give Dominoes a call. I could cut and skin my own chicken, but I'd much rather buy boneless skinless at the butcher block. I could take their pictures on my own instead of walking into Kiddie Kandids. I could sew my kid's clothes but it's much easier to shop Old Navy.com. I could cut my kids' hair, but I'd rather take them to Super Cuts. I could wash my car, but I'd much rather pay the car wash. I could fix my own sprinklers when they break or hire a professional. I could fix the tires on my bike or take them into the bike shop. I could change my oil or take it to Jiffy Lube. I could eat at home, but sometimes it's nice to go out. I could iron John's white shirts or I could take them to the dry cleaners? Do you get what I'm saying? There's a lot of things we could do ourselves to save money. It all depends on what our priorities are and where we want to spend our money. Who are we to judge where someone else spends their money?

In fact, if we tried to do everything ourselves, it would really hurt our economy. Would you be out of a job if people stopped doing something they could really do for themselves? And who has time to do everything they want to do? I don't know about you but I always have a million things to do. It's completely overwhelming sometimes. That's why it's so important to prioritize. We have to decide what is most important to us and how we are going to achieve that. I did that after I had my oldest daughter. Let me give you a little back story.

When Bella was born I knew it was my responsibility to be a good mother to her. I soon realized that it was impossible to do everything I needed to do to be a good mother to her. There wasn't enough of me to go around. I couldn't do the laundry, the bathing, the cooking, the grocery shopping, the organizing, the clothes shopping, the dishes, the vacuuming, the dusting, the mopping, the sweeping, the bathroom cleaning, while I playing, smiling, and teaching. The last three were the most important to me and those always seemed to get done. But the other 11 things were always undone. And it got messy around here. The guilt, among other things, started to pile up. All that I had read about having a house of order really stung. I felt like a failure. How could I have a house of order when there wasn't enough hours in the day to get it all done? Ever? How could I clean with a toddler under foot? Especially one that never let go of me? I couldn't get anything "done" with her around. It didn't take long for the depression to settle in. I was doing the best I could but it wasn't good enough. I was overwhelmed.

When Bella was about 18 months old, a lady that I really admire and look up to and aspire to be like asked John and I to stay in their home for a week and take care of their three teenage boys. No problem. "Oh, and the house cleaner comes on Wednesday," she said. Housecleaner? You have a house cleaner? No way. I couldn't believe it. She didn't have a job and all of her children were school age. No way. That is so cool. I had always wondered how she found the time to do all that she did. I'd known her for a long time and seen her at more events, parties, graduations,wedding receptions, baby and bridal showers than I could count. She was always at her children's sporting activities. She was queen of support. Always there for her immediate family as well as everyone she knew. Smiling and happy and known for her positive attitude and concern for others. She has sent me a lot of hand written notes that I've kept over the years expressing her love and concern for me. Wow. So and so doesn't clean her own house? I was shocked and surprised. I thought every good woman cleaned their own house. After the shock wore off, I was impressed. What a good idea. Obviously she puts the times she would spend cleaning to better use. Hmm.

After that eye opening experience, John and I talked about getting housecleaners. Getting the husband on board is very important. I have no suggestions as to how to talk your husband into it. Other than explaining how happy it would make you and how much pressure it would take off of you. He either gets it or he doesn't. If he doesn't, I am so sorry you married a jackass.

The reason this is a rant is because I am bothered by a few things.

Why is it so unacceptable and unheard of for a stay at home mom in Idaho to have a housecleaner? Could it be because it's the SAHM's responsibility to keep the house clean? Why not, she's home anyway? She can just clean it herself. She doesn't have anything better to do. It's her house and her mess and she should clean up after herself. She should take pride in keeping her house clean and tidy. She can't afford it. Her husband's hard earned money could be better spent on other things. The children need to learn how to do housework. Oh, it's good for her. Put a little hair on her chest.

I've heard it all before and I am here to challenge each of those ideas. I believe it is the family's responsibility to keep the home clean. If the family wants to clean the house themselves and they have the time and energy, that is great. If the family decides they want to hire help to help them clean the house, then that is great too. I see no problem in that as long as the house is clean.

A mother that is home with young children is busy caring for those young children. She is bathing them, dressing them, changing their diapers, preparing their food, feeding them, cleaning up after them, playing with them, washing their clothes, reading to them, preparing more food for them, feeding them again, changing them again, picking up after them again, playing with them again. If a mother is doing her job as a mother, how in the world does she have time to do the job of cleaning the house? There are simply not enough hours in the day. Even if a woman does not have children, she most likely has better things to do with her time than dust, mop, and vacuum.

There are many responsibilities placed on women these days. So many that we have to prioritize our time with the many things we are asked to do. I believe that there is no one better than me to care for my children. However, I don't care who scrubs my shower. And I'm pretty sure my shower doesn't care either. The vacuum cleaner doesn't miss me when because I haven't touched him all month. But the kids I love and play with would definitely miss me if I were spending time with Hoover and not them. Also, I don't feel comfortable letting my children roam around the house unattended while I clean. It's unsafe and it sends the wrong message. (Again, my opinion).

For me, the biggest benefit to having housecleaners has been the way it makes me feel. I can't express what a difference it makes in how I feel as a person--in my own personal happiness and well being. I can't put a price on that. I feel organized. I feel put together. I feel like I can take care of myself because someone is taking care of me--helping me with chores that would otherwise fall on me and never get done.

I have the time and energy to tackle those projects that there's never time to do. As a result, I experience greater satisfaction with the way I spend my time. I feel rewarded with the things I choose to do. I feel appreciated and loved by my family. I feel more love towards them too, now that I don't resent them for giving me so much dang work to do. I am happy. I am a wife and mother and not a slave. I feel greater purpose in the things I do and less frustration with the daily grind.

There is only one thing I struggle with. I feel judged by others because I have help cleaning my house. I don't feel guilty at all. In fact, I feel incredibly smart for finding something that works so well for me and my family. I kind of feel bad for you all that don't have cleaners. I just wish it was more acceptable and understood. What do you think about all this?"

It's My Life, I Can Cry If I Want To

*Due to budget cuts and corporate down sizing the allotment of characters for today's rant has been drastically reduced. I will make the best of the space I have.*

Ok, so I actually procrastinated writing this rant until the last possible moment, and am now trying to bust out a topic suggested to me several months ago. Maybe I should just write about procrastination.... yeah, I'll get to that one later.

So, life sucks. It really does. And before any of you "glass is half full" people start to jump down my throat, let me get a few words out. Our lives are a series of trials and tests. When the trials seem to be too difficult, and they often do, then life can seem miserable. From day 1 we came out crying, we knew life was a bitch and the only thing we could do about it is cry. NOW, that is not to say that we can't have a good attitude and enjoy life to its fullest. We can be happy most of the time, and that is the idea.

My intention is not to rant about the purpose of life. I want to complain about people that hate their lives, yet make no attempts to change it.

A guy goes into the doctor and says "Dr. it hurts when I raise my arm up like this", to which the Dr replies "Then ... don't raise your arm like that."

We all know people that hate their lives. They hate their jobs, they hate their homes, they hate their children, they hate their car, they hate their spouses, they hate their hair, they hate their weight..... You get my point. These same people make it a point to let all of us know how much they hate their lives, constantly! I am not one to judge a person that wants to complain. ::looks back at list of previous rants:: But I am annoyed by people that complain about the same things daily but will not do anything to change the situation.

I get it, you hate your job. Look for another one! You don't like your home, fix it or move! You hate how your children misbehave, spank their butts! ( and then slap yourself for allowing your kids to get to this point) You hate your spouse, find the problems and resolve them, or cut bait.

Of course this is always easier said than done. The outside view is always the most clear and the solutions seem to be simple. But that is because the solutions truly are simple. If you want help then listen to the advice of those you trust, and take action. Baby steps. But if all you want to do is bitch for the sake of bitching, well then, write a blog. =)

Cya in 7

Stupid Is As Stupid Does, Stupid.

Now here is something I can rant about all day long. I thought about doing a 52 part rant on this topic so you can get the full scope over the next year. Instead I will do my best to make this a Readers Digest condensed version.
Stupid people. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stuuuuuuppppiiiiddd people. I can hear Flower now " We don't say that, daddy!"
I'm not talking about riding the short bus, wearing a helmet to bed, training wheels on the special shoes stupid. There is nothing wrong with someone that was born with less mental capacity than the average person. God loves them, and so should you. I'm talking about ignorant, stubborn, close minded, STUPID people.
It's ok if you don't know everything. Just admit it. There is nothing more aggravating than someone that thinks they know everything, especially to those of us that DO know everything.

I deal with lots of stupid people on a daily basis. It's what I get paid to do so I guess I shouldn't complain about this limitless national resource, but I am going to. In case my definition of stupid isn't crystal clear, I'm going to give you an example of a tech support call I have honestly experienced many times. I help agents in the Philippines as they attempt to "help" American customers.

Me: "Bla bla bla, How may I help you?"

Cherry-Lemon-Lime-Turd (you Qwesties will get these names): "Yes sir, the customer is not able to authenticate the modem. We have typed the correct user name and password thrice."

Me: "Let me check. I see the customer is typing the password wrong. Have them type it correctly."

Cherry-Lemon-Lime-Turd: "Sir, they have already typed it correctly, sir."

Me: "Are they authenticated?"

Cherry-Lemon-Lime-Turd: "No sir."

Me: "Then they have not typed it correctly. Have them do it again, correctly please."

(Repeat the last 4 lines approximately 10 more times)

Cherry-Lemon-Lime-Turd: "Fine sir! If you cannot help, thanks anyways!" ::click::

You may not understand all that went on there, and you aren't necessarily expected to. The point is a stupid person wanted my help, but didn't want to accept the answer I gave him. Need more examples of stupid people? Here are some examples of famous stupid people:

–Bill Clinton, during his 1998 grand jury testimony on the Monica Lewinsky affair
~"It depends on what the meaning of the words 'is' is."
~"It depends on how you define alone…"
~"There were a lot of times when we were alone, but I never really thought we were."

George W. Bush
~"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
~"The same folks that are bombing innocent people in Iraq were the ones who attacked us in America on September the 11th."
~"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

Britney Spears
~"I'm famous, but I'm not famous like freaking Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston."
~"I always listen to 'NSYNC's Tearin' Up My Heart. It reminds me to wear a bra."
~"I want to wait to have sex until I'm married."

I'm sure we could keep going for days quoting the more infamous stupid people. But I feel myself getting more stupid just reading these quotes.

Being stupid is a choice. For some people it's not a hard choice, but it is a choice none the less. People just need to TRY to think before they speak and act. These same stupid people should just stop speaking all together. Abraham Lincoln says it best "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." So people of the world, please stop being STUPID!

Cya in 7

007 License To Breed

Is it Wednesday again already? Lets rant!

There are strict age limits and semi difficult tests administered to determine if a teen is competent enough to maneuver a vehicle on public roads. To become married "until death do you part" (or until something better comes along) you are required to fill out papers and pay your fees. And even to take the life of a helpless woodland creature necessitates a training course and a license. So why is it that there is no breeding license?!
Is the conception and rearing of a child so much less significant than any of these other tasks that require licensing? This subject is even more sensitive for those of us that have expanded our families through adoption.
As adoptive parents we were required to go through hours and hours of training courses, classes, and certifications. We had to fill out mountains of paperwork trying to prove we can provide for our child. We had to have notarized letters from the sheriff's office stating we were not criminals. Extensive background checks were done to prove we are not hiding anything that could cause us to be bad parents. We even have social workers interview us prior to getting a kid to insure we are not psychopaths and every couple months after we get the kid to check on their situation. And the child can be removed from our home anytime within the first 6 months if the State finds us to be unfit parents. So how is it fair that any punk with an itch in his pants can find a semi willing "scratching post" and spawn a child.
Now I don't want to hear any of your rebuttals about freedom of choice or constitutional rights. This is my rant, so listen or leave. I think people need to have their baby making parts removed as children. And when they finally reach the age of consent, get married and decide they want to make some babies they need to pass a test and get licensed to have their "accessories" returned. The tests need to be as extensive as the ones for adoptive parents. Proof that they have financial means to provide for their child, proof that their criminal background is void of issues that can put a child in harms way, and proof from a therapist that these people are stable enough to handle the rigors of child raising. As a solution to one of my own personal pet peeves, I think an IQ and logical thinking test should also be administered. Upon successful completion of these tests they will be issued a breeding license. And just like a hunting tag, each time the couple wants to make a baby they need to reapply.
Ok, fine! I know this is not practical, legal, or physically possible. But there has to be some viable solution. My big concern isn't even the pregnant teens. ( I do however feel any teenager that gets pregnant should be forced to put up the child for adoption ). My concern are the parents that have 365 children (one for each day of the year), that are both on welfare, that let their kids stew in their own filth all day, that spend our tax-money-handouts on drugs and smokes and let their kids go hungry, and that some how manage to avoid Child Protective Services. There are so many unfit parents in this world, why are they allowed to continue breeding!?
Before you go bawl yourself to sleep in your pillow thinking I am talking about you, let me clarify. To me there is a HUGE difference between all of you reading ( yes I know each one of you, and I am watching you read this right now) and the people I am talking about. All of you mothers will feel inadequate and guilty at some point. You will feel like you are a terrible mom and have no rights raising a child. That is just how moms think. It's hormonal and not your fault. And any of you dads that are reading this probably should feel inadequate and guilty more often, especially those of us that let the moms do all the work. But the people I am ranting about are not you that may forget to put an extra Twinkie in little Billy's lunch. I am talking about those that constantly allow physical harm to come to their children by means of serious neglect or abuse. I am talking about those that will spend $200 a week on lottery tickets, but make their children wear clothes that don't fit and that are covered in urine stains from the thousands of animals roaming the house. I am talking about those that have substance abuse issues and mistakenly stick their baby in the microwave. Need I go on?
So here is my solution to prevent future issues. When you come across a man that fits these descriptions, knock him down and repeatedly stomp on his fun sack. Problem solved. Just tell the cops I said to do it, it will be OK.

Cya in 7

Next week: "Stupid Is As Stupid Does, Stupid"