Newton Was Full Of Crap

Happy Turkey Day! I know it's not until tomorrow, but some of you might not read this until Thursday so I was just thinking ahead.

Lets get to the point, shall we. I know you are all familiar with Newton's third law of motion, the law of reciprocal actions. I know this because you are all very intelligent people, otherwise you wouldn't be reading my rants. But just as a reminder, here is the gist. ''To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction''. Well, I'm here to say that Newton is wrong!

Ok, not really. At least not when it comes to the laws of physics and masses in motion. However, this law has been misinterpreted to give people an excuse to not take responsibility for their own behavior. This comes in handy because some people sure love to play the victim.

Action or reaction. Why is it that so many people refuse to take action? Is their life already too easy that they need the complications and drama involved with being reactive instead of proactive? Or maybe these people have just resigned their happiness to "fate" and have given up any pursuit of said happiness.

I'm sure most of you know what I am talking about. We all know someone that is "reactive". Or you may even be one of these types of people. It's never too late to change. But for those lucky souls that have never heard of a person that is reactive let me elaborate.

Allowing the actions of others to affect your mood, blaming the world for your circumstances, and never taking responsibility for your own happiness are all traits of a reactive person. A reactive person is someone that wants something, but refuses to do anything to get it. They expect that they are owed that thing, that thing must come to them, and everyone else is to blame when that thing is never obtained.

And on the other side of the coin is the proactive person. When you're proactive you decide how you want to feel. Aside from any rare major catastrophes that may take the lives of loved ones, a proactive person doesn't allow the "little things" to get them down. So what if some blind blue-hair takes your parking spot at the grocery store, there are always others. Who cares if some jerk didn't hold the elevator for you, he's probably going to fart in there anyways. A proactive person works towards the things they want, or they accept the things that they can't have. And when things happen to a proactive person, it's not because the world is out to get them. If a proactive person gets pulled over for speeding, it's their own fault for breaking the law. It's not the officers fault he didn't pull over the other people that were also speeding, it's not the fault of their children for taking too long to get dressed causing them to be late, nor is it the city's fault for imposing such a slow speed limit.

So, back to Newton. To every action (I get slapped in the face) there is always an equal and opposite reaction (I slap the person back). I don't have to return the slap. Chances are very good that I deserved to get slapped. Therefore I shouldn't be reactive, I should accept my slap with a smile and go about my day. The world is not a fair place. Nobody ever said it was, so we have no right to expect it to be. You'll never see Newtons law working in the world. To every action (homicidal maniac kills 7 people) there is always an equal and opposite reaction (7 homicidal maniac's given lethal injections). To every action (CEO of a major corporation embezzles $10 million) there is always an equal and opposite reaction ($10 million returned to employee's retirement fund). To every action (Man sues fast food chain because they never told him that 'eating fast food would make him fat', and wins) there is always an equal and opposite reaction (fast food chain files counter suit because the man is a moron, and wins).

We have no control over "The World". But we are the masters of our domain. We control "our world". It is up to you and I to make our life the way we want it, and that requires action on our part. If we resign to always be reactive, then we resign to allow "The World" to control "our world" and we shouldn't expect them to be much different.

Now, lets here from my wonderful reactive friends about how I made them mad. =)

Cya in 7

Guest Rant: Opinions Are Like Anuses...

Here we are again. It seems like Wednesdays just keep coming.

Today's guest rant is written by the very funny, often witty, and only semi intellectual Richard Malm. So without further doo-doo....

"Everyone is entitled to his or her opinions, unless you disagree with me.

I believe that we should have honest and reasoned discussions about what should and should not be acceptable social norms. It really bothers me when one side of any debate equates being against their opinion to being a horrible something. Against the war in Iraq, you are not a patriot. Don’t believe in Gay marriage, you are a hatemonger. While you might be either or both of those things, you are not automatically them because of your opinion.

I have a rule; you can do whatever you want as long as it does not adversely affect my family or me. Screw a goat I don’t care. However, please don’t ask me to accept your lifestyle, or teach my children that is a valid alternative. I believe all goats deserve to go unmolested by humans. I will not be there to comfort you when you get some goat disease that rots your Twinkie off. Sit on your ever expanding ass, play playstation, and eat hot pockets all day, I don’t care. However, please don’t ask me to pay for your triple bypass, find you a woman that will accept your “special” lifestyle, or fund your SSI because you have posttraumatic stress disorder from playing the first Halo for a year and a half straight.

I do not have to accept your beliefs or pay your consequences, just as I know you have the God given right to not accept or pay for mine. Just because I don’t support your thoughts on a particular subject does not mean I am intolerant, ignorant, or Hitler. Just as I know you are not a leftist, socialist, nut job (some of you anyway). Make your choices; do not force them on me. I will love you for the person you are, but I may not love or support your decisions. Love me for the person I am, I will not ask you to love or support all of my decisions. You are entitled to your moronic opinions; please allow me the right to mine."

Cya in 7

Facebook Faux Pas

Welcome to Wednesday! Today is actually my Monday, I have to start work for this week tonight. Yay for having a job!

Today's topic comes from our very own Queen of Facebook. So if any of you blog stalkers don't use Facebook, this rant may not be for you. Thank you for playing, have a safe trip home.

Facebook addictions are so prevalent that the developers of FB have so graciously created a myriad of features you can use to stay informed. The more common; emails and texts about comments and status updates. Now you no longer have to be on a computer to get your fix. I've never been one for the clutter of thousands of emails from Facebook each time a "friend" wants to complain about whatever day of the week it may be. However, I will admit that I have elected to receive texts when comments are made on my page only or when one of a few choice friends update their status.

You're probably asking yourself ".. and the point of this rant is....?". Well that is a great question. Let me answer that with another question. What's the most annoying thing people do on Facebook? Oh, you were so close! Thanks for playing, have a safe trip home. Actually, it's a trick question. There are many many many things people do on Facebook that I find annoying. But today we are going to focus on people that delete their comments.

If you wanted to say something bad enough that you took the time to type it out and click the submit button, then just leave it there and own the consequences. I understand making spelling or grammatical errors and wanting to delete and retype the comment with corrections. But to make a statement then change your mind is silly. Either think before you type, or grow a pair and own your thoughts.

The dual purpose of this rant is to serve as a Public Service Announcement. Just because you hit delete doesn't mean nobody saw what you wrote. Those lovely emails and texts get sent out the moment you hit submit, so you just look foolish to the people that get these notifications when you try to take back your words. You know the saying, " Better to be thought a fool and remain silent than to speak and remove all doubt."

A little side note, sub-topic, tangent I want to throw in. When you are having a "wall to wall" conversation that spans a couple days or more, don't delete the other persons comments! I don't know how many times I'm having a conversation with someone, they respond to something I said a few days prior, and to jog my memory of the conversation I click the lovely "wall to wall" link to get caught up. What do I find? My portion of the conversation has been deleted! Now I have no idea what the crap I was saying to this person ( I have to keep my lies written down or I get confused).

Anyways, that's my dos pesos. Thanks for all your ideas on future rants. I'll try to get to most of them eventually, except yours Becky. I seriously have no clue what I would say about men with hairy backs. ;)


Cya in 7

Talk Radio Killed My Faith In Humanity

Happy days. Hope you're all recovering nicely from the Halloween sugar coma.

Today's topic isn't really "current events", but it's irksome none the less. I was driving home from work yesterday morning and started flipping through the radio. I do not care for radio morning shows. I listen to the radio for music, not to hear blowhards yammering about this, that, or the other. But for some reason I stopped on one station where a discussion was going on about whether or not smoking in front of children should be considered child abuse. After wrapping up the call that was in a progress some gal calls in and starts to say that she is about to be a mother and she thinks smoking in front of kids should not be considered child abuse. One of the DJ's asks this pregnant gal, in jest, if she smokes now. She replied " Yeah! And my baby is growing big and healthy. They used to do it in the old days all the time!" I almost drove my car off the side of the road when I heard that. The DJ obviously had the same reaction because he stammered and then just hung up on her saying he couldn't talk to her.

I am fully aware of the ever growing population of stupid people in this world. But for some reason I had built up a false hope in my mind that at least all knowingly pregnant adult females would do their best to not smoke during their baby's gestation. So to hear someone proudly proclaim that they are smoking while pregnant threw me off. Not only that, but her iron clad argument that "They used to do it in the old days..." just made me want to find this moron and bitch slap her just like "They used to do in the old days".

I've made a list of things that "they used to do in the old days". Feel free to add any that I may have overlooked.

~ My favorite, having unprotected sex with a plethora of partners. You weren't cool unless you had a couple STD's.

~ Drunk driving. This is one of those old habits that apparently die hard, but at least now it's publicly frowned upon.

~ Driving without seat belts. I remember the days of crawling around the back of the station wagon while on long trips.

~ Drinking while pregnant. It was all fun and games until some "invented" Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

~ Leaving school to go work on the farm.

~ Marrying first cousins

~ Dieing by age 50

~ Believing the world is flat.

Ok, so some of those go a little further back than the 'good old days', but you get my point. Just because something was once a common practice doesn't make it right. There is a reason it is no longer a common practice.

Anyways, if any of you find this chick here in Boise that is smoking while pregnant give her a swift poke in the eye for me please.

Cya in 7

Halloween Rant

Only 3 more days!!!!

Since I am on a staycation, and in honor of the best holiday ever, and because I am just generally lazy, I am going to randomly list some of my biggest Halloween pet peeves. Feel free to add to the list if I forget anything.

~I'm going to start with my all time biggest pet peeve about Halloween. This way if you get bored and stop reading you'll have at least read about this one. Trunk or Treats!!! It's not the actual Trunk or Treat event that bothers me, so much as the fact that people will have these events on Halloween night. Parents will take their kids to a Trunk or Treat INSTEAD of Trick or Treating around their neighborhoods. This is a largely Mormon custom, but has been adopted by other churches and even some family oriented companies. I know that Halloween is all about kids getting their candy, and many parents are just too lazy or self absorbed to actually take them door to door. But the closer I get to adulthood ( and no, that doesn't mean I'm actually growing up) I think a lot of the fun is to see neighborhood children come to the door to beg for candy. I love to see children dressed in costumes, to see their eyes light up as you give them some "good" candy instead of the nasty hard pieces of bubble gum, and to hear their laughs and screams as they look at all the Halloween decor. People that use Trunk or Treat's as an easy way out of their parental duties not only rob the children of some great memories, but they also ruin the experience for those of us "adults" that delight in decorating and distributing sugary snacks. And a side note to my LDS brothers and sisters, it is bad enough that we are criticized and ostracized from the community on so many other points but to not allow our children to participate in this night of neighborly bonding goes against all the things we are taught each Sunday about loving our neighbors and befriending those around us!! Repent you sinners!!! ;)

~Leaving your lights on, but not answering the door! Seriously, how hard is it to just turn your lights off. If you are such a cheap bastard that you can't hand out even the nastiest of candy, at least have the decency to turn off the lights. We can hear you in there watching the Lifetime channel, we know you're home. Stop wasting our time! And if you have an automatic porch light that doesn't turn off, and unscrewing the light bulb is too advanced a task for you, then at least get out your box of crayons and scribble a note that says " Child hating Grinch lives here".

~I know how old I am, don't ask me if I think I'm too old to be Trick or Treating. If I really thought I was too old to do it, do you think I would be knocking on your door?! Has anyone ever responded to your ignorant query by saying " You know what?! You're absolutely right! I didn't realize that I was too old to be asking for free candy. Thank you for showing me the light. Allah be praised!!"?

~I understand that we live in difficult times financially. I appreciate peoples willingness to participate in Halloween in anyway possible. But for the love of all that is holy, please do not hand out homemade popcorn balls to strangers! First of all, gross! Secondly I don't know you, I don't know where your hands have been, and I don't know what kind of disgusting creatures live in your home under the guise of "house pets". Thirdly, I grew up in Southern California. We had to go through our candy each year looking for holes in wrappers that could have been made by needles because there were people that thought it was hilarious to inject PCP or LSD into candy and give it to children. And anything homemade or any fruit was immediately discarded by the parents because of numerous reports of douche bags hiding razor blades in apples and popcorn balls. Luckily, here in the great state of Idaho, those types of "tricks" aren't as prevalent, but that doesn't mean I'm any less leery.

~Once every 7 years Halloween falls on Sunday. I understand and appreciate the whole "keeping the Sabbath day holy". But it needs to be publicly decided, and adhered to, if the holiday is going to be celebrated on Saturday or Sunday. Boise generally does celebrate on the Saturday before, but there is nothing more annoying than going Trick or Treating, knocking on the doors of the homes that have the lights on, and instead of yummy treats receiving a lecture about how Halloween isn't until tomorrow. If you're not going to participate on Saturday, or if it is decided to celebrate on Sunday and you choose not to participate, then follow standard protocol and turn off your lights! Don't think that your soap box speech to little children just wanting some candy is going to change society. If you want to bitch about it, write a blog. ;)

Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Cya in 7

Eat Me PETA, I'm Dolphin Safe.

Anyone else missing summer? I'm freezing!

For those of you that don't know me, I'm not what you would call an "animal lover". In fact my personal motto has always been 'Animals are to be eaten, not fed'. However, I'm not one that would drive around town running over every Spot and Snowball I can find. I can appreciate that there are people that enjoying their pets. My problem is with people that love animals more than they care for other humans.

Just last week I was driving on the freeway minding my own business when the lady next to me spontaneously swerves into my lane. I had to slam on my breaks to avoid colliding with her and her ginormous POS that she was driving. I'm not a big road rager so I just changed lanes and started to speed on by. I glanced over at her and realized the reason she couldn't see me was because she had her dog laying around her neck. And this wasn't some little Paris Hilton pocket pet type of dog. This thing had to have been 25 pounds and was a huge mass of furry. So while this lady is getting face licked and furry bathed by her stupid dog, she is obliviously driving people off the road.

Several years ago I worked with a lady that had a plethora of cats. One night one of her cats dies. She was so distraught over the death of this feline that she called out sick to work for the entire week! It's not like it was some award winning show cat, or some special breed that costs millions of dollars, or even some cherished childhood pet that she grew up with for 30 years. This was just some random free loading stinky stray.

I'm sure you can all think of a person or two that would save a stray dog on the side of the road rather than give a homeless person some food. You may even be one of those people. In fact I know at least one of you reading this is that type of person. Here's a story that involves a couple people that may be reading this blog right now, so I wont name names.

Many, many moons ago I was a high school student. My father had just purchased a new truck so I talked him into letting me take it for a drive. I called up my buddy and suggest we go out. He invites the girl he had been pining after all year and I call another gal pal. We decide to go get some food and play a little putt-putt. As we are heading towards our destination my dear sweet soft-hearted friend ;) sees a porcupine walking along the sidewalk near the busy road. He insists we stop so this little creature doesn't wander into the road and get squished. To make a long funny story into a short boring one, we ended up spending the entire evening driving this porcupine around the back of the truck in a trash can looking for the address of some crazy lady that rescues vermin. The point, you're probably asking yourself, is that this friend cared more about the safety of this spinney pest than making moves on the "love of his life" at that time. =)

Needless to say, I really don't see eye to eye with PETA. Sure, I think testing cosmetics on animals is silly and pointless. We have plenty of ugly people in this world that I'm sure would love to have a free make over to test this crap on. But if finding the cure to AIDS or even the common flu can be accomplished by killing a few hundred rats, I'm all for it. On the PETA website there is even an article written the beginning of this month where the author tries to dissuade people from supporting breast cancer research charities because they "fund cruel and irrelevant experiments on animals". Really?! What is more cruel, testing on a few hundred animals or letting tens of thousands of women suffer and die from such a vicious disease?

Animals don't have the same rights as humans for a reason. If it were up to all the animals in this world I'm sure they would rather we all just go extinct and leave them in peace. But we're the top of the food chain so we get to decide how we want our animals, medium rare or well done.

Remember, if animals weren't meant to be eaten they wouldn't be made out of meat!

Cya in 7

Cyber Balls

Does anyone else get annoyed with the term "hump day" ? It's always so misleading. ;)

For anyone that is new to this show, I work in technical support. I spend all night helping people with internet issues. I have been doing this job for over 10 years and up until recently I spent my time on the phones. Now most of the time I do support via online chat, so I can help 4 people at a time. And no, I do not get paid 4 times my wages as I now do four times the work. But that is not what I am going to bitch about today.

One of the many observations I have made since transitioning to an online support system is the anonymity that comes from chatting seems to give people a set of brass cyber balls the size of Texas. I have experienced a new level of rude and abusive behavior never before experienced in a phone conversation. Now I understand the frustration that comes when a service is not working correctly, but I've never understood how someone can have a complete lack of human decency.

This "cyber balls" phenomenon is not limited to technical support. Over the years I have been known to play an online game or two ::cough:: Geek! ::cough:: And I have observed many a "fight" online. People will fight and argue about anything and everything. Knowing that most of these people are prepubescent teenage boys sitting in their stank rooms hiding from the real world it amazes me the gall they muster. These kids would cower in a face to face confrontation, so what magical powers does the internet provide that makes these people invincible? And does it really matter who is more of a "newb" than the other?

I'm undecided as to what makes less sense, the people that decide to fight online or the people that let these online abuses affect them. I'm sure you've all heard about that gal that committed suicide because she was being bullied on MySpace. I'm sure there were other influences and issues leading to this drastic end, but really how can a person get so worked up over comments made on the internet. What happened to "sticks and stones...."?

Some of you may have even participated in an online "fight". What was it that made you feel so omnipotent that you disregarded another human beings feelings? Or for you "victims", what was it that made these comments from some random stranger hurt you? Maybe it is my over abundance of self confidence, or maybe it is my total lack of value applied to the opinions of all the inferior creatures found in cyber space, but I really don't understand why people fight online. Of course I'm not talking about a logical debate where valuable ideas and insights are exchanged, I'm talking about the petty personal attacks. "you're ugly and stupid!" "No, you're the ugly one and your mom smells like cheese!"

I once had a customer that was so upset that his service was disconnected because he hadn't paid his bill for several months. After using every swear word ever invented he became so desperate for an insult that he called me a "melon headed whale shark!" and then quickly left the chat. I cried myself to sleep that night.....

This topic reminds me of one of my favorite unpolitcally correct motivational posters: "Fighting on the internet is like competing in the special Olympics. Even if you 'win' you're still retarded."

Cya in 7

Special Guest Rant Part II: Flawed Arguments and Stubborn Facts

Ok, I actually did have a rant written. But because of some of the thought provoking comments generated last week, Lori published a more detailed response. I felt it only fair to republish her blog again since several of the comments mentioned were from the small number of readers of this rant. Her blog can be seen here http://uncommoncommonsense88.blogspot.com/2009/09/flawed-arguments-and-stubborn-facts.html

So next week look forward to an original rant, Cyber Balls. =)

Cya in 7


'My last post addressed some of the things we can do to improve health care without government involvement. I got a few comments, but wanted to address a couple in particular. These comments brought up issues that are worthy of response.

One of the comments is as follows: "I would like to direct your attention to the writers first stated premise - there is no trust in the government with one sixth of our economy. My question is, how did it become one sixth of the economy? With every step of a 'free' enterprise system being everything but free, freedom is placed upon the back of those who are a dwindling base of contributors to support the greediness of astronomical proportions and the government is the recipient of easy target fingerpointing. If we insist on blaming government for a sick system, we are trying to fix the wrong problems."

My initial reply was the following: "There are many causes of the problems in medical care which I have also written about on my blog. Doctors are lousy business-men, insurance companies and employers cause problems of their own. Pharmaceutical companies and medical suppliers are making huge profits. But the single largest problem is the government sticking their big nose in everything. Ignoring that fact and involving them further will compound the problem exponentially. The government cannot fix our problems. We can. We need to stop shifting the blame and asking the government to fix the things we can fix on our own.

As to how it became one sixth of the economy--it's because we provide health care for the world. Nearly every advance in medical technology, new drugs, new treatments comes out of the US. People from all over the world come here for medical training and treatment. And we as a people are accustomed to being able to go to the doctor any time we want to. It's one sixth because we're a prosperous nation and medical care is accessible."

I didn't have enough space to adequately respond to the gentleman's comment above, but tried to briefly. First of all, based on his comment, I'm led to believe he did not read the post. The whole purpose of the post was about what we can do as individuals. And to discount everything I said simply because he felt I was "finger-pointing" at the government, is counter-productive.

John Adams once said, "Facts are stubborn things, and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictums of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence." One example of such a fact is the requirement that all hospitals must treat everyone, with or without insurance. You may argue the usefulness, the need or the success of this law as one part of the issue. But the separate fact of the issue is that it has increased the cost of health care for everyone in the US. I'm not saying it is right or wrong, moral or immoral. The fact of increased cost cannot be ignored.

The fact that states require insurance companies to cover an increasing number of mandates has raised the cost of health care for every employer and participant in a health plan. Again, you can debate whether it is right or wrong, but the facts are indisputable. In order to have a productive and honest discussion about health care reform, we must address the facts. There will also be a need to discuss the emotion and morality of the issues involved in health care. But we will come up with a wholly faulty solution if we fail to address the facts too. Some of the facts we must address are: What will it cost? Who will pay for it? What will be the consequences of the legislation, intended and unintended? Is the government capable of managing health care in light of its track record with Social Security, Medicare/Medicaid, the VA, etc.? How will the public option affect private insurance? Will rationing result? These are stubborn facts that must not be ignored.

A second issue that was raised came about at the end of my response above, "It's one sixth (of our economy) because we're a prosperous nation and medical care is accessible." One reader, responded: "Accessible yes. Affordable no." This argument, is quite simply, frustrating to me. First of all, I disagree. Secondly, "affordability" is a relative issue. Health care is a business and like any business in this country it is responsive to supply and demand. Because we have a greater supply of quality health care, the demand increases, therefore the supply is increased to meet the demand. The problem is, that health care is expensive, especially the kind we're accustomed to. We're not talking about apples here, we're talking about expensive procedures like MRI's, CT scans, x-rays, and ultrasounds. The equipment for these procedures is incredibly expensive and as those in the health care world try to meet the demand they have to add expensive pieces of equipment. Do you think they get it for free? Our demands are one of the reasons that health care is so expensive.

Furthermore, any American could go to South America or the heart of Africa and get the best health care money could buy...there--it would be very affordable. I don't suppose they get a lot of MRI's there, but it would be affordable. I would like to drive a Cadillac Escalade, but I can't justify the expense and therefore it's not affordable. Does that mean someone's trampling on my right to drive an Escalade? We as Americans kindof lose our minds when it comes to health care. We get caught up in the emotion (understandably) and forget the stubborn facts. Fact #1: Health care is expensive. Fact #2: It's your responsibility. Fact #3: Life is hard. We think we should be able to get Cadillac health care on a Volkswagen budget. It doesn't work that way. And if we start paying "Volkswagen rates" for our health care, then we will get "affordable" prices and care that would rival anything you can get in any given third world country. Those of us who are responsible adults, budget for a home, car, food, utilities, etc. Why don't we budget for health care? Life is full of surprises both pleasant and unpleasant. Stuff happens and then we have to pay to fix it. When my fridge breaks, I have to pay to get another one, whether it's in the budget or not, or go without. If I had no health insurance and a sick child, I would do whatever I had to do to get the Cadillac health care and I would figure out how to pay for it. If I had to spend the rest of my life paying $20 a month to pay off the bill, I would. But I would pay for it. That's called personal responsibility.

The final comment was thought-provoking but I felt flawed in many ways. "A few questions: First, questions on personal responsibility: How can those with mental illness or extreme pressures of physical illness be expected to have personal responsibility (ie. the majority of those receiving treatments)? What % of the people that are "lifers" really would be able to succeed in a "personal responsibility" system? How many would fall through the cracks? Who is responsible for the well-being of the citizens of the USA? MANY nations take themselves out of the well being of their citizens and leave it up to them, is this a good model to follow? Is the question really about whether or not health care is a "right" or is it a basic need? Should the needs of society be made free to all American citizens? If health care shouldn't be a government issue then why is education? Why is there public education? Would our country benefit from following the models of other countries that have healthy citizens? Is there such a model out there?"

The premise of her questions are that the only two choices are either personal responsibility or the government (forgive me if I have misunderstood you). Certainly they are not. Personal responsibility is the ideal and is where we should all be destined. Obviously there are those among our citizenry who are incapable of that level of responsibility. We already make provision for them through Medicare/Medicaid. But there are also charitable organizations all over the country that do great works, we as individuals help each other out, Churchs help their members, neighbors help neighbors, communities rally around the needy and hospitals and doctors donate millions of dollars each year in care to the indigent and needy. Is it a perfect system? Of course not. But we don't blow up our house and start over just because we have a leaky faucet. Tearing this health care system down, starting over and putting the government in charge, is the equivalent. That assumes the government can then re-create a new, improved and flawless house in its place. That's a big leap of faith--not based on any stubborn facts, like their history.

"How can those with mental illness or extreme pressures of physical illness be expected to have personal responsibility (ie. the majority of those receiving treatments)?" The majority of people have insurance and jobs and they pay for it like they pay for the rest of their bills. That's how I expect them to have personal responsibility. We don't have to blow up the system to take car of the exception. We finds ways to treat the exception and keep the rule.

"What % of the people that are 'lifers' really would be able to succeed in a 'personal responsibility' system?" How will we know if we never give them the chance? You don't teach a child responsibility by sheltering them from the consequences of life. You also remove all incentive to improve your life situation by giving endless handouts. "Give a man a fish, you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, you feed him for life." America is still the land of opportunity--if you don't like your life, then you can go to work and change it.

"Who is responsible for the well being of the citizens of the USA? MANY nations take themselves out of the well being of their citizens and leave it up to them, is this a good model to follow?" I am responsible for my own well-being. We are responsible for the well-being of our family. The government is responsible to get the heck out of the way. Is it a good model? Yes, we created it. It's called freedom. You are free to succeed or fail and the attending consequences. It's the only way to learn and progress.

"Is the question really about whether or not health care is a 'right' or is it a basic need? Should the needs of society be made free to all American citizens? If health care shouldn't be a government issue then why is education? Why is there public education?" First of all, if you're asking these questions then your public education has failed you miserably. Using public education is a very poor example. Many would argue that the government should not be in the business of education because they are botching it all over the country. We spend more per capita, with less to show for it than just about any country on earth. If that is an example of the government taking care of a right, it does nothing to generate my confidence in the their abilities. But I digress. No-one has a right to an education. We as a society have decided that it is of sufficient importance that we will provide it for all our citizenry (heck, we even provide it for non-citizens), that does not make it a right. Check the Bill of Rights: http://www.ratical.org/co-globalize/BillOfRights.html. The last right reads, "The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people." So, yes, you have the right to go and get your own health care. The Constitution was established to "promote the general welfare" (not provide it) and "and secure the blessings of liberty". Those are your rights, along with "Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness" (Declaration of Independence). You have the right to live, to be free and to chase happiness. There is no guarantee you will catch it, but you have the right to pursue it. Those are the rights, including those listed in the Bill of Rights that you are guaranteed in the founding documents of our nation.

To try and define health care as a right is simply...wrong. When we, as a nation, get in the business of becoming the nanny to all of our citizens we are destined for abject failure. All incentive to work hard, succeed and achieve will be destroyed and then who will pay for all the programs? There is not one single historical example of success where the government provides everything. Whether you label it socialism, communism, Naziism or the public option, it is all the same and history has shown it to fail in every case. The very wise Thomas Jefferson, author of the Constitution, said, "A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have." It matters not which party reigns, the more power we cede to the government, the less freedom we have. That is one of those stubborn facts that people choose to ignore all too often. You have the right to go and seek health care; you do not have the right to have the government pay for it. In fact, lets nix this talk of the the government ever paying for anything, because they don't generate a dime of income, they can only take it from one citizen and give it to another. You do not have the right to have your fellow-citizens and taxpayers (i.e. government) pay for your health care. Nor is it your right to have your fellow-citizens buy your food, house, car or anything else you think you have a right to. Go to work and get it. That's the American way. That's the responsible way.

"Would our country benefit from following the models of other countries that have healthy citizens? Is there such a model out there?" This implies that we have unhealthy citizens. I don't think that's accurate in the first place. Healthy compared to what and using what statistics? And when we aren't healthy, in many cases it's our own dumb fault. We overeat, we aren't active enough, we eat the wrong things. Are we to legislate that? In a movie called "The Island", Ewan McGregor's character got to have his urine tested every morning by a computer which determined what he was allowed to eat for breakfast. We must think beyond the "now" and look at the "next". You can't legislate "healthy" unless you're prepared to lose all your freedom. No thanks. Furthermore, I defy you to find one historical example of a continually increasing government leading to anything but the decreasing prosperity and freedom of any nation.

Let me conclude by saying this: The fabric of our nation is made stronger each time we serve and help each other. Americans are generous people, that is a big part of who we are. But by turning that charitable nature over to the anonymous government, we will be poorer for it. We will care less for our neighbors or for those in our community because of the assumption the government will take care it. You cannot legislate charity. On the flip-side, when you have a citizenry that is entitled, they become ungrateful and lazy. I have never appreciated anything as much, nor savored an achievement as deeply as when I have had to work hard to get it. Without the opportunity to work, to achieve, to serve and to be served when we need it, we as a nation will become completely selfish, isolated, unproductive and weak. To quote Ronald Reagan, "...government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem." '

Special Guest Rant: So What Can We Do?

Welcome back to another edition of KG's to lazy to write his own rant. Actually today's rant is a republished blog from my cousin Lori, her original work can be found here http://uncommoncommonsense88.blogspot.com/2009/09/so-what-can-we-do.html

I don't necessarily agree with everything said, but at the same time I don't disagree. None the less, it is a very interesting perspective and I think should generate some entertaining comments. =)

Remember, play nice.

Cya in 7


"I have spent a lot of time picking apart the liberal plan for reforming health care in the U.S. I do not have any confidence in a government that cannot run anything cheaply or efficiently. They are the last people I would trust to manage one sixth of our economy--I wouldn't trust them to do my lawn care. So, it's high time to talk about what can and should be done instead. Here are some ideas that would go a long way to lowering the cost of health care for everyone without a government takeover of health care.

1) Individual responsibility:

As with anything in life, when we are directly responsible for the outcomes of our decisions, we are better for it, individually and as a society. That responsibility includes being accountable for our life choices, the amount of risks we take and paying our bills. It seems like a no-brainer doesn't it? Unfortunately, we have gotten away from that thinking in reference to our health care. If I choose to have multiple sexual partners, why is it anybody else's responsibility to pay for the resulting medical problems? If I choose to drive drunk, or recklessly, why should others pay for my choices? If I choose not to pay my financial obligations, it affects my fellow customers and increases costs for everyone. Is that okay? Others are not responsible to carry our weight for us--that is selfish and immature. That is one aspect of personal responsibility that needs to be considered.

The other aspect is the erroneous idea that health care is a right. Health care is a business, not a right. That sounds cold and sterile, but it is the truth. Like any business, it most be operated to turn a profit and meet its obligations or it will cease to exist. No one owes you health care. In fact, health insurance came about as a perk, offered by employers that needed more leverage than just wages to entice employees into their fold. Employer-based health insurance is relatively new to our economy (within the last few decades), but it evolved very quickly from a perk, to an expectation, to a right. You have the right to seek health care anywhere you want, but with that right, as with any other, comes responsibility--the responsibility to pay for it. That principle holds true to housing, food, cars and gas. I don't have the right to food or a house--I do have the right to work for it and the responsibility to pay for it. We must recognize the difference.

Having said the above, that does not preclude the need for help. Sometimes we find ourselves in trouble financially due to unexpected medical expenses and in need of help. That can come in many forms and should come in the following order: 1) Self: exhaust your savings if you must, but meet your obligations. 2) Family: draw on your immediate and/or extended family for support as they are able. 3) Church: look to those organizations that are already set up and organized to help people. 4) Community and charitable organizations: fund raisers in your local area to help you meet your needs, or the assistance of those organizations already established for that purpose. 5) Government: the last resort. Every dollar you get from the government was taken forcibly from the wallet of a fellow-citizen. Americans are among the most generous people in the world and also the most willing to render aid. In our collective looking to the government to solve problems, we eliminate the opportunity to serve and help one another, to be involved in each other's lives. Government programs do not engender a sense of community, they sterilize and mask the challenges we face as individuals and families. The fabric of our society is weaker for it. I would much rather keep and additional $100 from my paycheck, that rather than going to taxes, I could spend any way I see fit. And when someone needed the help, I would have the extra cash around to do so. And if you are among those who feel that government programs are the way to go, then you go ahead and pay all the taxes you want to pay. I'm sure the IRS won't turn away your dollars. But forcibly taxing money away from one group of citizens to help another group of citizens, is not charity, it's socialism. Trust us to be wise in the spending of our money, including how and when we want to help our fellow-man.

Medical reform will also require a change in our thinking, in taking responsibility for our medical care. I am as guilty of this as anybody else. When we go to the doctor and we are told we need additional treatment, my first question is always, "Will my insurance cover that?" That is not the right question. What we should be asking is: What will that accomplish? Is it necessary? How much will it cost? Would it be cheaper for me to pay for it out of pocket? Will it be successful? What are the possible outcomes? How can we cut costs? What would you do, independent of the insurance company's influence? These are the kinds of questions that will return the responsibility for medical choices to us and to our doctors. We should be just as careful with the costs for our treatment as we would be if we were to pay every penny out of pocket. I guarantee that will change things. To that end, see number 2 below.

2) Health Savings Accounts and higher deductibles:

One of the most underused tools in our medical savings arsenal, is the HSA. Very few of us know the benefits and how easy they are to use. Part of the problem is that it's our responsibility to set it up and make it happen; no one will do it for you. We finally got around to it, determined what we would deposit in our account each month and the bank we worked with sent us a debit card that will directly access our account. It is our money and it will roll over from year to year, earning interest, if we don't use it all. Once we reach retirement, we can then use the money for whatever we need, not just medical expenses. And it is all pre-tax dollars. It is a great way to prepare for unexpected medical expenses and to benefit from your planning if you don't ever need it for that purpose.

The deductible on our health insurance is quite high, higher than I'm used to. We therefore funded our HSA to match our $5,000 deductible, which amounts to a little over $400/month. I realize that not everyone will be able to do that, but for those of us who can, it's a great benefit. And for those who can afford it, but choose not to carry health insurance, it's an excellent way to pay for their medial care with tax-free dollars.

Having that higher deductible has greatly changed my perspective on going to the doctor. It's not like we were running to the doctor every month, but since so much of that money comes out of our pocket, we are very careful how we spend it. We include cost factors when making our medical decisions, which makes us wiser consumers. It's funny how we weigh cost with every other decision we make when we make purchases, but got away from that when it came to our health care. We now do a better job of cutting costs where we can and seeking better prices when available.

3) Everyone should pay something:

Free stuff is great. Everyone loves free stuff. But as a consistent modus operandi in society, free stuff can be detrimental. We all know spoiled children who get everything they want, are never required to work and have no responsibilities. They are intolerable to be around. Our society has its share of "spoiled children" who have gotten so much "free stuff" that they are equally intolerable. I'm not talking about people who have fallen on hard times for a period; that could happen to any of us. I'm talking about the lifers, who expect society to provide for their needs; those who feel the world owes them a living. That way of thinking breeds a lack of responsibility, productivity and self-respect. It is very damaging to our society as a whole. It would benefit both the individuals concerned and the country if everyone was required to pay something for their health care. Even if it were only $5, that would accomplish several purposes. It would make people think twice before they run off the ER as their primary care physician--the most expensive medical care in the US. They would reconsider unnecessary office visits. It would give them the dignity of having paid for a part of their care. Anything they're told by the doctor will be taken more seriously when it hits their pocketbook. And for those who don't even have $5, we can figure something out. That's where the generous American spirit steps in and we help each other out.

4) Return medical decisions to the doctor and patient:

It is time for us to regain control of the relationship with our doctors. We have allowed our insurance coverage to dictate our care for too long. I have learned that my annual pap smear is generally a waste of money. The only man I've ever been with is my husband. At most, I would probably only need a pap smear every 3-5 years because I don't participate in risky sexual behaviors necessitating an annual pap smear. Because the insurance pays for it, it costs the system unnecessary money. On the other hand, my husband is at great risk for prostate cancer due to his family's medical history. We need to be pro-active and make sure he gets the proper screening, at an earlier age than normal, whether the insurance will pay for it or not. We must have a conversation with our doctor, like the one I listed above, and return the decision-making to where it belongs. The responsibility lies with the doctor to do his/her best and we make a decision together and live with the consequences. That kind of decision-making would also eliminate a lot of malpractice lawsuits. In fact, I heard once that the difference between doctors who get sued and those who don't, is three minutes. Those who don't get sued, spend an average of three more minutes with their patients than those who do. Nothing complicated about that.

5) Increase Medicare/Medicaid reimbursements:

One of the biggest contributing factors to the increasing cost of medical care lies directly on the doorstep of the federal government. The reimbursement rates of doctors who treat Medicare/Medicaid patients are ridiculously low. As in any business, if a customer doesn't pay or under-pays the owner, he must make up those costs elsewhere to keep his business afloat. Doctors have overhead just like any other business: employees pay, employee benefits, office space, office supplies, medical supplies, medical equipment and their whopping malpractice insurance premiums. The fact that they are running a business is not a measure of their compassion. Doctors perform more pro bono work than in any other business and they get little or no credit for it. In fact, most people don't even know they do it--and they do it because they are compassionate, not so they can go around talking about it. Every hospital in this country writes off millions of dollars every year in unpaid bills. How many of us think of that when we're complaining about the cost of the great care we get from our medical system? The government's refusal to pay doctors and hospitals a fair reimbursement costs all of us a lot of money. The next time you see your doctor, ask about it. You will be shocked. And in the end, it causes many doctors to drop patients with Medicare/Medicaid because they simply cannot afford to treat them anymore. The government compounds the problem of "the uninsured" through their short-sighted policies based on emotion, not sound economic principles. This is a glaring example of a well-meaning but inept government, whose good intentions don't always match the results.

6) Tort reform:

Any discussion of health care reform that doesn't include tort reform is just plain silly. Every doctor, because of the lawsuit happy society we live in, is required to carry malpractice insurance. Before your doctor ever starts making any money in any given fiscal year, he/she must pay the malpractice premium which runs anywhere from $60,000 to $150,000 per year. How many small business owners could handle that? The premiums vary from specialty to specialty and from state to state, but the costs of those premiums are, of necessity, passed on to the patient. Every time someone brings a frivolous malpractice lawsuit to court and every time the jury makes a ridiculous pain and suffering award, the premiums go up and so does the cost of your health care.

I am not suggesting that people should not be able to bring malpractice lawsuits, that's not what tort reform is. Tort reform, would not prohibit lawsuits. It would not limit the money required to right the wrong. It would cap the pain and suffering awards at say $2 million, for example, instead of $22 million. It would also require the loser to pay the court costs for both parties. So, if you have an ambulance-chasing lawyer, looking to get rich, who brings a frivolous case to court, they are going to make sure their client can pay them first. And if you have a gold-digger, thinking they are going to put the screws to the rich doctors, they either better have a solid, legitimate case, or be prepared to pay the legal fees.

Furthermore, I must go back to the personal responsibility idea. Doctors are not gods--they are imperfect people doing the very best they can with the limited information they have. They know much, but there are still vast amounts of information yet to be discovered. Nonetheless, we expect them to have all the answers and never make a mistake. Do we hold ourselves to that same standard? Stuff happens. Doctors cannot control the human body, they cannot foresee every complication or problem that may arise in treating a unique and very individual patient. Complications and mistakes are not malpractice. It's part of life. We need to recognize that fact and accept the idea that something could go wrong. That doesn't mean it's the doctor's fault or that there has to be someone to blame. Malpractice is when someone is incompetent, willfully negligent or grossly under-trained. If lawsuits were brought, rightfully so, in just those cases, they would be few and far between.

This is actually an area where the government could be useful. Tort reform would severely reduce the number of frivolous lawsuits and thereby reduce malpractice premiums out of the stratosphere. As the premiums go down, so goes the overhead and the costs passed on the to the patient. Furthermore, if doctors weren't in constant fear of being sued, they wouldn't practice defensive medicine. When doctors are practicing defensive medicine, they order twelve tests instead of the necessary one, out of fear they might get sued. So, to cover their behinds and because the insurance will pay for it, we spend millions of dollars per year on unnecessary tests, etc. Once again, that increases the costs for all of us.

7) Tax deductions for pro bono care:

There are a few bad apples here and there in the medical world, but most physicians are very caring, concerned and conscientious practitioners. Unheralded, doctors do a lot of free work for those that simply can't afford it. At present, they are not allowed to use that as a tax write-off. Why not? It's charitable work. That doesn't stop doctors from doing it, but why not encourage it? Doctors are slammed with high income taxes, which includes the "income" they use to pay malpractice premiums. I think it would encourage even more pro bono work, if they could also get the tax benefits. We have plenty of economic history to prove this principle--as taxes go up, charitable donations go down and vice versa. It doesn't take a genius to understand that.

8) Cash discounts:

Try negotiating with your doctor about the costs of your care. Most doctors are willing to offer you a discount for full payment on the day of service. It is cheaper for them to take a discount off the top than it is to go through the hassle of filing a claim and waiting, waiting, waiting for reimbursement. It will save you money and will save him money.

9) Open insurance up to actual competition:

The current health insurance system is really weird. "They" keep talking about the fact that we need "choice and competition". I agree. But creating a government form of insurance (i.e. Medicaid) has done and will do nothing for the cost of insurance. That's not real competition. Let's look at auto insurance. It's required for all drivers to carry minimum coverage and the insurance industry has adjusted to compete for those policies. You can go almost anywhere in the country to find an auto insurance policy that will meet your needs in terms of cost and coverage. You can't do that with health insurance. Health insurers won't insure individuals, which makes it almost impossible for small employers or the self-employed to get affordable health insurance. You are also not allowed to shop outside of your state for health insurance. That restriction limits the competition and therefore the price. If an employer is shopping for employee coverage, he is usually limited to just two or three insurers within his state. That's not real competition. And it usually leads to the biggest insurer driving out the smaller ones. If the competition were opened up nationwide, the best companies, who provided the best coverage for the best price, would rise to the top. The other companies would either improve their coverage and costs or they would go out of business. Good old American capitalism would do more for the insurance marketplace than any government program ever could. Surely those same capitalists can find a way to make insurance available to the self-employed and small businesses.

Government meddling has caused other problems here as well. Over-regulation in individual states has raised the costs of health insurance for everyone. That has come about as state governments have legislated more and more coverage mandates (for example, some states have mandated coverage for elective procedures such as sex changes or prescription coverage of Viagra). What that means is that the minimum policy is required to have more mandated coverage. Insurance companies base their premiums on their perceived risks of a payout. Each mandated coverage item therefore increases the premium for everybody. Again, that limits competition and makes it hard for insurance companies to provide the kinds of policies that would sell like crazy in the marketplace. If we, as the consumer, could actually buy some minimum coverage, like catastrophic coverage at a minimum price and have the flexibility to actually purchase the coverage we need, that would change the whole health insurance landscape. But because of government regulations, that cannot be done right now. Another example of governmental good intentions with short-sighted policies.

In the end, there's very little that the government can or should do. I'm not a business major, I'm not a economist, but I am a pretty smart consumer. These things are common sense ideas that would encourage the government to pass tort reform, de-regulate the insurance industry and let the marketplace do it's thing. These changes, coupled with an increased infusion of personal responsibility when it comes to health care, could solve most of our problems. We live in the greatest country that has ever existed on the earth. It is filled with brilliant and generous people, full of ideas who love to face a challenge and solve a problem. Let's not look to the government, let's look to ourselves. We, the people, need to fix this and help our representatives understand that the best thing they can do is get out of the way. I certainly haven't covered every possible fix and I would love to hear other ideas. Maybe this is the kind of thing we should be discussing with our government representatives."

Welcome to Wednesday!

Apparently last weeks rant was so unappreciated that the guest rants just came pouring in. ;) So this week we will be graced with some rantings from Sarah.

Cya in 7

"The prophet said to plant a garden, so that's what we'll do...

Anyone else remember that song?

What else has the prophet said recently? Get your house in order. Have a year supply of food. Have a 72 hour kit. Don't pierce your body, other than women who can have one pair of earrings. Don't get tattoos. Follow the word of wisdom. Don't look at pornography. I know I'm leaving stuff out, because I don't have all day. I could go ON AND ON AND ON about what the prophet has told us to do and not to do.

That said, I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. And I have a tattoo. And, I am about to get another one after a brief stint of addiction to Oxycontin. As of writing this, I am 32 days clean and sober, and , God willing, by the time it gets published 6 days from now, I will be at 40.

I won't go into details or defend why I am getting my tattoo. Quite frankly, I'm not married to any of you, nor are you my mother, and the reasons are personal.

But here's what gets me. A "friend" that I've known for a long time asked me why I felt okay about getting one after the prophet specifically came out and said not to. Okay, that really set me off, but because we've been friends for a long time, I had a FAR too lengthy discussion with her about my reasons. She disagrees. I knew she would, and honestly, that's fine. But when she asked me what it cost, the line had been crossed. I was not about to tell her that. None of it was any of her business, and the financial aspect of it was especially none of her business. So I told her I wasn't telling her that. Her response? "Why? Is it completely atrocious? Or are you paying for it with sex?"

WHAT???? So getting a tattoo automatically makes me a whore? SHAME on you. NO WONDER people with multiple tattoos feel so uncomfortable in our church buildings. Our stake president said that the best smell you could have in the chapel is cigarette smoke. YEP, he sure did. You know why? It's a sanctuary for the sinner, not a country club for the righteous. And in this high concentration of Mormon population, I find that there has never been a more judgmental bunch of people, EVER.

I have a friend who is (dare I say it?) an atheist. When her son was in 2nd grade, he had children from our faith and a couple of others tell him on the playground that he is going to hell because he doesn't believe in God. Are you kidding me, people? Is this how you honestly think Jesus would want you to behave, first of all? And, secondly, do you think that you are helping the name of Mormonism, or hurting it? What do you think would do more for the conversion of this little boy's belief in God, kids being his friend, or condemning him to hell because of his non-belief (which, incidentally is SO not their place)? Thankfully, my own children were not involved in this, and we had a family meeting about it and my husband and I told all of our children that we wanted to make sure they knew that was NOT acceptable behavior. I am teaching my children to be kind to EVERYONE no matter the color of their skin, their choice of God, or choice of no God, etc. When I was living in Utah, and President Hinckley had to come out at a regional conference and say that the members needed to teach their kids that they weren't better than the kids of other faiths, etc., and I remember just being horrified that it even needed to be said.

What happened to common sense and the golden rule? What happened to Jesus said love everyone? (anyone remember THAT song?)

Yes, I am getting a tattoo. Yes, the prophet has told us not to. I have two words for all of you: FREE AGENCY
If you have nothing better to do than to be judgmental about what I'm doing, perhaps you should talk to your bishop. Maybe the two of you can unrighteously judge me together. Or maybe you can remember that Jesus said to the crowd of the woman taken in adultery, "Let he who is perfect among you cast the first stone."

You know, manure is great when it's spread around the field, but when it's in a great big pile, it sure does STINK."

Well Done Thou Good And Faithful Servant

Happy hump day! Hope y'all had a good labor day weekend. Today's rant is more of a quandary than a complaint. But I have been thinking about it for some time, and would like to get it out in writing to see what comes up. So if you think it sucks I expect a guest rant from you in my inbox by next Tuesday.

In the Bible there is a parable of the talents. I'm sure any of you that have ever gone to a Sunday School or perused the Bible have heard of it. It's found in Matthew 25:15-30, in case you want to dust off your Bible and take a look. Anyway, the point of the parable I wanted to discuss is that we all have supposedly been given talents. Some people have been given many talents, and others just a few. And we are supposed to use these talents so they will develop and increase.

For years I have pondered over what talents do I have. And besides being damn sexy, I couldn't think of anything. Then it occurred to me, maybe not all talents are "good". As I started to think outside of the box I came up with a longer list of things I am really good at that I guess I could call talents. Here are a couple that I am most proud of.

I'm really good at making people cry, and not in the good way. If have a gift for upsetting people so much that it drives them to tears. Man and woman alike, doesn't matter how tough you think you are I can make you cry.

I'm a talented arguer. I can argue about anything, for any reason, with anyone. Even if I whole heartedly disagree with the stance I take, I can argue it for hours. And I don't even need to know anything about that which I'm arguing. Plus I will argue just for fun when there really isn't a need to argue. I'm sure my wife will vouch for that. =)

This last one may be more of a hobby than a talent, but I love to antagonize people and do it with ninja like skills. I can quickly learn a person's buttons. And just like any other adolescent, I love to push buttons.

Now I know you've not heard anything surprising or previously unknown so far. And I'm not making this list to be boastful, even though boasting is on my talent list. I'm just setting the stage for my question.

If talents are God given gifts that we are expected to "use or lose" then why is it considered uncouth for me to use my talents? Or do you suppose that since my talents are based on contention, and contention is of the devil, that my talents may not be from God? Lets hear your opinion.

Cya in 7

Guest Rant: Life's A Beach

Hello all! Happy hump day! We have a special treat today, a guest rant from Emi Neubauer. I think it's pretty darn funny. So without further delay....


Cya in 7



"

For the past ten years (whoa) I've been married to a military officer, but not just any military, the red headed step-child of the "armed forces" the Coast Guard. And by the very nature of its name, my husband's job is to "Guard" the "Coast" which means we have had the (ahem) honor to live in some pretty sweet areas of our great country.

For example: We currently live in Hawaii. We moved here from Washington, D.C. and so on and so forth. Now, this rant isn't about idiots out on the American Waterways, this rant is about tourists.

Being that we currently live in what is (arguably) the top tourist hotspot in America, the island is crawling with folks who, since they are "on vacation", demand being catered to 24/7.

Tourists are great, they're always good for a good heartfelt laugh when walking down the street in their fanny packs, cheap Hawaiian print shirts, black socks pulled up to their knobby knees under sandals, and video cameras hanging off their necks. But, come on people. Some of us have lives we have to live. Yes, People live here.... the rest of us did not get off the cruise ship with you.

When you are dining out in a restaurant, this might be a really big deal to you, so much so that you have to TALK REALLY LOUD SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU SQUAKING INTO YOUR CELL PHONE ABOUT HOW YOU ARE IN HONOLULU! YEAH! I KNOW!! ITS BEAUTIFUL HERE!!"

Seriously? The rest of us? Don't need to hear about "the fantastic price you paid for your ticket, but dear god! It's expensive here!!!" We know.... we live it.

We are just trying to enjoy our meal. You know. US. The people who have to live on this island you come to, go to a luau, ride your duck boat tour down the street staring at all the rest of us just trying to take our kids to school, and go to jobs that we hate, that pay crap so we can spend it on stuff you can buy for 20%-40% cheaper when you go back to North Dakota, or Alabama, or wherever it is you came from.

And something else? We all don't exist to serve you. They didn't make me sign a waiver that I would become a personal tourist concierge before they allowed me to move here.

Living in D.C. was similar, although a little more tolerable, since D.C. tourists come with a sense of reverence to see America's Capital City. Usually the older retired set, or families with children bringing them on a personal history lesson. Not like here, where people come to get "lei'd" and want to do nothing more then sit on a beach drinking mai tais.

Just remember this: Wherever you go, whatever you do, Have fun, enjoy your stay, but keep in mind that the rest of us have to go to Safeway and buy the toilet paper you wipe your Topeka Kansas ass on.

"

Big Mac Attack

Happy Wednesday! Did you miss me? I didn't think so.

This is something I have complained about before, but never in a rant. So if it sounds familiar to you then go find something else to read. I've heard there are many couponing blogs you could check out.

To get right into it, I hate Macintosh computer users! That's right, I said it. In case you misunderstood, I don't necessarily hate Mac computers, just their users. And if you don't even
know what a Mac computer is, then maybe you really should be reading the coupon blogs.

I know about half of you 5 people reading this rant are Mac users, so let me tell you why I hate you. Mac users, or Mac-ies, have an undeserved sense of superiority. They feel like they belong to an elite club of special people, like those douche bags that drive Hummers. And just like said douche bags, they are gravely mistaken.

Just to clarify from the beginning, I am not a Kool Aid drinking member of the PC's for life club. And I don't worship at Bill Gates feet (though I would if he would pay me enough money). In my home there are a "couple" computers, some Windows, some Linux, and a Mac. So I am not ignorant to the benefits of any of the systems. I will even admit that in a few ways Macintosh computers are better than Windows. BUT that does not give the Mac-ies the right or even the justification to think themselves smarter than Windows users.

I think the reason I hate you Mac-ies more than others is because I work in technical support. 95% of the customers I speak with are morons. They have no business owning a computer. When one of these 95% also has a Mac computer it makes the conversation that much more painful. Mac-ies can never believe any trouble is with their computer. They believe Mac's are infallible. "It is impossible there is an incorrect setting in my computer because I have a Mac!" But these same Mac-ies don't even know how to change the picture on their screen saver or use the "right click" options.

Macintosh computers are not indestructible. Contrary to urban moronisms, they can fail, have hardware issues, and crash. And there are even a virus or two that can infect a Mac, even though the chances of a Mac getting a virus are significantly less than those of a Windows OS. Just because you paid almost 3 times as much money for your Mac for the same processing power as a Windows computer, it doesn't mean you're a better person. And if you don't even know how to use your computer all you did was spend $3000 for an expensive email machine.

So, if you own a Mac, I hate you. Ok, that is not entirely true. I hate all people! But you Mac owners, pull your heads out of your butts and go get educated about your computer. Mac's do have some great features and some fun software not available to Windows users. However, understand that you are not special. Owning a Mac doesn't increase your IQ, it doesn't make you any better looking, your male genitalia isn't getting any larger, and it doesn't give you any reason to inflate your ego. It just means that some salesman saw you as an easy mark, and made a fat commission from selling you a beginners computer.

As a side note here are a few things I dislike about the Mac computer specifically.

• They have proprietary components. If a hard drive crashes its not just a matter of spending $100 and buying a new hard drive.
• They cost a fortune. Because of the proprietary parts Apple can charge an arm and a leg. Windows systems are so much cheaper because anyone that can read directions (or even follow the simple pictograms found in an Ikea instruction guide) can buy the parts and build their own computer. They don't need to spend the money to get the Dell or HP logo imprinted on their PC.
• Many software programs and games are still incompatible with the Mac OS. It is true that as Mac has gained in popularity over the last few years more and more programs are becoming Mac compatible, but the software options available for Windows based computers is still far superior to that of the Mac.

Ok, just to be fair here are a couple things I do like about Mac's.

• I feel the graphic design software and capabilities of a Mac are still superior to those of Windows, but the gap has been rapidly closing as Microsoft continues their quest for world dominance.
  
• Macintosh computers are good for people with more money than sense. I'm not meaning this as a knock, but I seriously feel that little old grandmas that have plenty of money should get Macs. They are harder to get infected with viruses and spyware. They are a safe beginner computer for someone that can afford it. The perfect "computer for dummies".
• Ummmm...... I'm having a hard time coming up with a 3rd reason. Oh, I love their commercials. Justin Long is hilarious!

Ok, lets hear all your reasons why you THINK I'm wrong, and why you feel you really are better because you bought a Mac.

Cya in 7.

Dollar Store Babies

Hello all,

So today I'm going to "talk" about something. I'm going to avoid making light of this subject, as best as I can of course. This is a sensitive subject to some, and it is personal to me as well. So, this is one rant where I will not be trying to offend my readers. =)

Most of you may know that my wife and I have adopted both of our daughters. I get a lot of questions about adoption. But the one statement, or assumption, I get that kind of irks me is "that's too bad you couldn't have your own kids."

In our case we probably could have biological children. But we felt that adoption was the way we were meant to grow our family at this time. There are people in the world that are not able to conceive and they choose to adopt. But does that make adopted children less loved? Does that mean they had to settle for an adopted child because their first choice wasn't available? I know nobody ever really means to imply that adopted children are any less important than a biological one, but some people think it.

A child is a child. My girls are my children, and I love them more than anything. I could not have biologically created a more perfect set of girls. And except for a few slight physical differences, these girls are a spitting image of me. God created these girls for me, He just used a different delivery system.

It may be difficult for some people to understand how a person can love a child that is not biologically theirs. For me it is difficult to understand how people can NOT love an adopted child. Well, we are all different. Adoption is not for everyone.

In years past there was a big stigma associated with adoption. Children would freak out when they found out they were adopted, parents would keep things secret, everything was always closed and hush hush. That was a shame. As is true with all things, communication and education are key. The stigma has been lifted in the past few years as people have become more concerned about what is best for these children, and less worried about the opinions of others and outward appearances.

The word Adoption needs to hold the same place in society as natural conception, In Vitro fertilization, surrogacy or any other method people choose to grow their family. It is not a second choice, it is not something one must do because all good options are depleted, and it is not a set of parents "saving" a child.

My soap-box lease has expired. And again, I didn't aim to offend anyone, this time. ;) But next time you speak to someone about adoption try to keep in mind that ones children get to them the way they are meant to, and all children are equally important.

Cya in 7

Life: Mission Impossible

Another week, another rant.

This rant may seem a little sad and depressing. I don't really have anything else to rant about today so I figured I would just bitch and moan a little. And I'm just too tired to try to make these problems sound funny. Please excuse the vagueness of the context. I don't know who reads this thing anymore, if anyone. But just in case, I need to protect the identity of the less innocent.

So is it just me, or does life just seem to have unanswerable questions sometimes? When a situation arises that really truly has no solution, what do you do? And I am not talking about just a tough choice, but an impossible choice.

What frustrates the hell out of me more is because of my previously mentioned "overactive imagination" I find myself constantly imagining a workable answer to life's problems. I feel a weight lifted and everything is happy. Then I realize that my dumb-ass mind is playing tricks on me again, and I am not going to find a large sack of money on the side of the road. The weight of the world comes crashing back down. So how do I try to figure out what to do when I can't trust my own thoughts?

I guess I will just have to do what I have always done. Worry about the problems I can control, and don't stress about the ones I can't. It just becomes increasingly more difficult when these problems are also causing great stress and strain on loved ones. I know I can roll with the punches, but how can I help everyone else? And how many punches can I take until the internal hemorrhaging is just too much?

Alright, I'm going to go home and sleep now. Sorry for the invite to my pity party. Tomorrow's another day.

Cya in 7

Guest Rant : Until Death Do Us Part, Or Something Better Comes Along.

Happy Hump Day! And to make it even better, today's rant is from our favorite anonymous ranter. Enjoy!

Cya in 7

"Growing up I remember being asked, “What do you admire most about your dad?” Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. “Well, he works hard I guess. And he’s loyal to my mom and I know he loves her.” I really appreciated that fact. Even though I didn’t see eye to eye with my dad on just about everything, there was one thing we both had in common. We both loved my mom. I didn’t trust my dad not to hurt me, but I knew he would never hurt her. It made me feel safe. So imagine how devastated I was to learn that my dad was leaving my mom because he “didn’t love her anymore.” Thirty four years of marriage down the toilet.

A few hours ago, I returned from a trip to McCall where my dad ::clearing my throat:: has a cabin. He is remarried now to a very sweet woman. I would like her very much. I would like her a lot more if my mother were dead.

Let me be clear that I try very hard at this whole “your parents are divorced” thing. I know very well it would be hypocritical for me not to love my father. After all, the reason I’m angry at him is because he doesn’t love my mother. So not loving my father because he doesn’t love my mother, although understandable, is wrong. But it’s hard. I know logically that I am to forgive others of their trespasses. I know that judging others is not my job. I know that criticism tears down relationships. He couldn’t get past the things about her that bothered him. So even though I have a huge list of things that I do not like about my father and feel very justified in those things, I know that I should overlook his past misdeeds, hurts, and wrongs, and love him anyway. So I try. I try very hard not to do to my father what my father did to my mother. Yet still it is hard.

Take today for example. The cabin is now my father’s, but it has my mother’s stamp all over it. Looks the same. Looks like her. Looks like them. Stupid, stuffed animals all over the place. The only things missing are the four quilts my mom made for the beds upstairs. They kind of disappeared. It irritates me that my dad won’t say, “Hey I took those quilts off the bed that your mom made and replaced them with different quilts. Would you like them before I give them to DI?” Everything gets tossed. Really irks me.

Then there’s breakfast at the Pancake House. A family tradition, and when I say ‘family’ I mean my old family, the one where my parents were married. My old PD (pre-divorce) family went there on a regular basis as I was growing up. Now it’s something that my father enjoys with his new wife. Anyway, when they eat out, they always order the same entrée and split it. They ask what we’re going to order and we ask what they are going to order. His new wife says they are going to order McCalls’s Best because “we’ve never had it before.” I choked on my water and held my tongue. I can’t count how many times my dad has ordered and eaten McCall’s Best. He never corrected her. He never does.

That reminds me of the trip they took to Boston. A while back she told me all about their wonderful trip to Boston and what a fun time they had together walking the Freedom Trail and seeing the historic sites. Oh you would have been so proud of me for not saying, “Oh really? My dad took my mom to Boston at least three times. Besides Hawaii, it was their favorite place to go. In fact, one year they took me for my senior trip. The three of us had a blast. Would you like to see my pictures? I have one in front of the Paul Revere statue just like you do.”

I don’t blame him, but I don’t think my dad has ever mentioned a single thing about his 57 years of living before he met her. It’s like it’s all been erased. Was it really that terrible?

So our breakfast comes and they start eating their McCalls’s Best, which supposedly my dad has never had before, and they start talking about their recent trip to Wyoming. They are always traveling. They tell me all about it and the stops along the way, and they talk about the little towns and where they ate and where they stayed and have I ever been here or there. They ask me have I ever been to Tetonia? Oh yes. Tetonia. The beautiful place in Idaho where my grandmother was raised. Yes, I have been there. With my grandmother. And her sister. Again I remain silent and pretend like I have never been to or heard of Tetonia. Then my dad says, “Your uncle Tom was born there.” Oh really? He’s not the only one. Have you forgotten that my grandmother, you know, your ex mother in law was born and raised there?

Hearing about their perfect life is tantamount to fingernails on the chalkboard. And I can’t talk about 90% of my life. I can’t talk about my heritage. I can’t talk about my current plans or future plans if they involve my mother. I can’t talk about why I am the way I am or what my values are. It takes all the energy I have to stay positive and nice and not drift into feeling pained and angry.

So then we go boating. I’m not much of a boater although I’ve spent countless hours on the lake in a boat. When I think of boating, I think of stress. My dad turned into bigger jerk whenever we would go. Don’t step on the seats. Get the sand off your feet. Sit down. Don’t let the boat hit the dock. I could never do anything right. Neither could anyone else. I just tried to stay out of the way. Growing up with a dad that’s really critical makes you feel really nervous all the time. When I’m around him, I can’t relax. I’m borderline scared all the time that I’m doing something wrong. I was like that all day today. I hated it. I was extra cautious and critical of everything my husband and my kids were saying and doing. I was a nervous wreck and I’m sure they didn’t appreciate all my disapproving looks. But it was all because I know how my dad thinks. I know he didn’t appreciate my husband seating our baby next to him at breakfast. I know he thinks my husband is ridiculously nice and borderline cheesy. I know he thinks my daughter is dramatic. I know he doesn’t want my son jumping on the couch. I know he disapproves when my husband orders a soda when everyone else gets water.

After boating we go to the beach and let the kids play in the sand. We’re all chit-chatting and then my dad looks at the mountain across the lake and says, “We’ve taken you to such and such mountain haven’t we?” What? I am so confused. When he says “we” who does he mean? The “old we” or the “new we” because I’ve never heard of that mountain so maybe he means the “old we” when I was a kid? Because the new “we” hasn’t taken us up there. So confusing. And frustrating.

By the end of the day, I was so glad to be going home. It’s exhausting to not feel comfortable in your own skin. I feel bad for other children whose parents are divorced. It sucks the life right out of you. That’s how I was all day. Trying to avoid conflict. Trying to follow all his rules that I’ve internalized—mainly how to be good and stay out off his radar. Being overly grateful for the littlest things because I know how he hates to put himself out. Repressing the anger. Pushing against the bitterness. Remembering to smile once in a while and look like I’m having fun. I’m tired just thinking about it.

So that was my day and this is my rant. Are your parents divorced? How has it affected you? If not, how do you think it would affect you? I’m curious. Do tell."