Guest Rant : Lazy or Economic Stimulant?

Speaking of lazy.....I enlisted the help of Amanda Olsen to write this weeks guest rant. You can find more of her amazing, and some not so amazing, writings on her blogs: http://www.dontgetboredinidaho.blogspot.com & http://www.makingdinnersucks.blogspot.com

Cya in 7

"I hate cleaning. It sucks. I have better things to do with my time. So I have housecleaners do it for me. Yes, that's my attitude. Do you have a problem with that? Why? Do you think I'm lazy? Spoiled? Impractical? Undisciplined?

Is that what you would think of yourself if you got housecleaners? Why? Why would you think that about yourself? Oh, because you can do it yourself? Yeah, well, I can do a lot of things for myself, too, that I don't do.

I could teach my daughter guitar lessons, but instead I send her to a professional. I could teach my daughter how to swim but I still enroll her in swim lessons every year. I could fertilize the lawn instead of paying Scotts to do it. I could make my own pizza or give Dominoes a call. I could cut and skin my own chicken, but I'd much rather buy boneless skinless at the butcher block. I could take their pictures on my own instead of walking into Kiddie Kandids. I could sew my kid's clothes but it's much easier to shop Old Navy.com. I could cut my kids' hair, but I'd rather take them to Super Cuts. I could wash my car, but I'd much rather pay the car wash. I could fix my own sprinklers when they break or hire a professional. I could fix the tires on my bike or take them into the bike shop. I could change my oil or take it to Jiffy Lube. I could eat at home, but sometimes it's nice to go out. I could iron John's white shirts or I could take them to the dry cleaners? Do you get what I'm saying? There's a lot of things we could do ourselves to save money. It all depends on what our priorities are and where we want to spend our money. Who are we to judge where someone else spends their money?

In fact, if we tried to do everything ourselves, it would really hurt our economy. Would you be out of a job if people stopped doing something they could really do for themselves? And who has time to do everything they want to do? I don't know about you but I always have a million things to do. It's completely overwhelming sometimes. That's why it's so important to prioritize. We have to decide what is most important to us and how we are going to achieve that. I did that after I had my oldest daughter. Let me give you a little back story.

When Bella was born I knew it was my responsibility to be a good mother to her. I soon realized that it was impossible to do everything I needed to do to be a good mother to her. There wasn't enough of me to go around. I couldn't do the laundry, the bathing, the cooking, the grocery shopping, the organizing, the clothes shopping, the dishes, the vacuuming, the dusting, the mopping, the sweeping, the bathroom cleaning, while I playing, smiling, and teaching. The last three were the most important to me and those always seemed to get done. But the other 11 things were always undone. And it got messy around here. The guilt, among other things, started to pile up. All that I had read about having a house of order really stung. I felt like a failure. How could I have a house of order when there wasn't enough hours in the day to get it all done? Ever? How could I clean with a toddler under foot? Especially one that never let go of me? I couldn't get anything "done" with her around. It didn't take long for the depression to settle in. I was doing the best I could but it wasn't good enough. I was overwhelmed.

When Bella was about 18 months old, a lady that I really admire and look up to and aspire to be like asked John and I to stay in their home for a week and take care of their three teenage boys. No problem. "Oh, and the house cleaner comes on Wednesday," she said. Housecleaner? You have a house cleaner? No way. I couldn't believe it. She didn't have a job and all of her children were school age. No way. That is so cool. I had always wondered how she found the time to do all that she did. I'd known her for a long time and seen her at more events, parties, graduations,wedding receptions, baby and bridal showers than I could count. She was always at her children's sporting activities. She was queen of support. Always there for her immediate family as well as everyone she knew. Smiling and happy and known for her positive attitude and concern for others. She has sent me a lot of hand written notes that I've kept over the years expressing her love and concern for me. Wow. So and so doesn't clean her own house? I was shocked and surprised. I thought every good woman cleaned their own house. After the shock wore off, I was impressed. What a good idea. Obviously she puts the times she would spend cleaning to better use. Hmm.

After that eye opening experience, John and I talked about getting housecleaners. Getting the husband on board is very important. I have no suggestions as to how to talk your husband into it. Other than explaining how happy it would make you and how much pressure it would take off of you. He either gets it or he doesn't. If he doesn't, I am so sorry you married a jackass.

The reason this is a rant is because I am bothered by a few things.

Why is it so unacceptable and unheard of for a stay at home mom in Idaho to have a housecleaner? Could it be because it's the SAHM's responsibility to keep the house clean? Why not, she's home anyway? She can just clean it herself. She doesn't have anything better to do. It's her house and her mess and she should clean up after herself. She should take pride in keeping her house clean and tidy. She can't afford it. Her husband's hard earned money could be better spent on other things. The children need to learn how to do housework. Oh, it's good for her. Put a little hair on her chest.

I've heard it all before and I am here to challenge each of those ideas. I believe it is the family's responsibility to keep the home clean. If the family wants to clean the house themselves and they have the time and energy, that is great. If the family decides they want to hire help to help them clean the house, then that is great too. I see no problem in that as long as the house is clean.

A mother that is home with young children is busy caring for those young children. She is bathing them, dressing them, changing their diapers, preparing their food, feeding them, cleaning up after them, playing with them, washing their clothes, reading to them, preparing more food for them, feeding them again, changing them again, picking up after them again, playing with them again. If a mother is doing her job as a mother, how in the world does she have time to do the job of cleaning the house? There are simply not enough hours in the day. Even if a woman does not have children, she most likely has better things to do with her time than dust, mop, and vacuum.

There are many responsibilities placed on women these days. So many that we have to prioritize our time with the many things we are asked to do. I believe that there is no one better than me to care for my children. However, I don't care who scrubs my shower. And I'm pretty sure my shower doesn't care either. The vacuum cleaner doesn't miss me when because I haven't touched him all month. But the kids I love and play with would definitely miss me if I were spending time with Hoover and not them. Also, I don't feel comfortable letting my children roam around the house unattended while I clean. It's unsafe and it sends the wrong message. (Again, my opinion).

For me, the biggest benefit to having housecleaners has been the way it makes me feel. I can't express what a difference it makes in how I feel as a person--in my own personal happiness and well being. I can't put a price on that. I feel organized. I feel put together. I feel like I can take care of myself because someone is taking care of me--helping me with chores that would otherwise fall on me and never get done.

I have the time and energy to tackle those projects that there's never time to do. As a result, I experience greater satisfaction with the way I spend my time. I feel rewarded with the things I choose to do. I feel appreciated and loved by my family. I feel more love towards them too, now that I don't resent them for giving me so much dang work to do. I am happy. I am a wife and mother and not a slave. I feel greater purpose in the things I do and less frustration with the daily grind.

There is only one thing I struggle with. I feel judged by others because I have help cleaning my house. I don't feel guilty at all. In fact, I feel incredibly smart for finding something that works so well for me and my family. I kind of feel bad for you all that don't have cleaners. I just wish it was more acceptable and understood. What do you think about all this?"