Welcome to Wednesday!
Apparently last weeks rant was so unappreciated that the guest rants just came pouring in. ;) So this week we will be graced with some rantings from Sarah.
Cya in 7
"The prophet said to plant a garden, so that's what we'll do...
Anyone else remember that song?
What else has the prophet said recently? Get your house in order. Have a year supply of food. Have a 72 hour kit. Don't pierce your body, other than women who can have one pair of earrings. Don't get tattoos. Follow the word of wisdom. Don't look at pornography. I know I'm leaving stuff out, because I don't have all day. I could go ON AND ON AND ON about what the prophet has told us to do and not to do.
That said, I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. And I have a tattoo. And, I am about to get another one after a brief stint of addiction to Oxycontin. As of writing this, I am 32 days clean and sober, and , God willing, by the time it gets published 6 days from now, I will be at 40.
I won't go into details or defend why I am getting my tattoo. Quite frankly, I'm not married to any of you, nor are you my mother, and the reasons are personal.
But here's what gets me. A "friend" that I've known for a long time asked me why I felt okay about getting one after the prophet specifically came out and said not to. Okay, that really set me off, but because we've been friends for a long time, I had a FAR too lengthy discussion with her about my reasons. She disagrees. I knew she would, and honestly, that's fine. But when she asked me what it cost, the line had been crossed. I was not about to tell her that. None of it was any of her business, and the financial aspect of it was especially none of her business. So I told her I wasn't telling her that. Her response? "Why? Is it completely atrocious? Or are you paying for it with sex?"
WHAT???? So getting a tattoo automatically makes me a whore? SHAME on you. NO WONDER people with multiple tattoos feel so uncomfortable in our church buildings. Our stake president said that the best smell you could have in the chapel is cigarette smoke. YEP, he sure did. You know why? It's a sanctuary for the sinner, not a country club for the righteous. And in this high concentration of Mormon population, I find that there has never been a more judgmental bunch of people, EVER.
I have a friend who is (dare I say it?) an atheist. When her son was in 2nd grade, he had children from our faith and a couple of others tell him on the playground that he is going to hell because he doesn't believe in God. Are you kidding me, people? Is this how you honestly think Jesus would want you to behave, first of all? And, secondly, do you think that you are helping the name of Mormonism, or hurting it? What do you think would do more for the conversion of this little boy's belief in God, kids being his friend, or condemning him to hell because of his non-belief (which, incidentally is SO not their place)? Thankfully, my own children were not involved in this, and we had a family meeting about it and my husband and I told all of our children that we wanted to make sure they knew that was NOT acceptable behavior. I am teaching my children to be kind to EVERYONE no matter the color of their skin, their choice of God, or choice of no God, etc. When I was living in Utah, and President Hinckley had to come out at a regional conference and say that the members needed to teach their kids that they weren't better than the kids of other faiths, etc., and I remember just being horrified that it even needed to be said.
What happened to common sense and the golden rule? What happened to Jesus said love everyone? (anyone remember THAT song?)
Yes, I am getting a tattoo. Yes, the prophet has told us not to. I have two words for all of you: FREE AGENCY
If you have nothing better to do than to be judgmental about what I'm doing, perhaps you should talk to your bishop. Maybe the two of you can unrighteously judge me together. Or maybe you can remember that Jesus said to the crowd of the woman taken in adultery, "Let he who is perfect among you cast the first stone."
You know, manure is great when it's spread around the field, but when it's in a great big pile, it sure does STINK."
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wow.
ReplyDeletewell said.
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ReplyDeleteI just have to say that I'm so tired of mormons, or anyone for that matter, complaining about being judged. Oops, now I'm probably judging. But then technically so is the rant. Mormons are not the only ones that judge, nor are they the only ones being judged. One of the most judgmental people I have met was catholic. Do I think she was judgmental because she was catholic? Please. It's because of her own insecurities and inability to understand what someone is going through which creates fear. It's the same reason I have or do judge. Or some people are so afraid of their salvation they can't fathom anyone choosing to do something 'big' that is 'obviously' wrong like a tattoo but forget that their every day little 'sins' are just as bad. I'm not perfect. Nor do I want to be. If I was I wouldn't be here. We are told not to get tattoos, which I have by the way, but that will be for me to answer to, just as everyone else will have to answer for judging me for it or any other thing. I have two tattoos with another one already drawn out, as well as two piercings other than my ears. It's ok to judge me for my weakness in liking body art and I'll still be your friend even though you have a weakness to judge. I try everyday not to judge and just in general try to be a good person. I just hope that my trying will help others to be more accepting. that's all I can ask for. Peace.
ReplyDeletewow. a little harsh ang. people talk about what they know. a Mormon talks about the judgement of Mormons, because that is what/who they know. An eskimo talks about the eskimos in the igloo next door, a WASP talks about the other ladies at the country club, etc. etc.
ReplyDeleteA person needs to do what they want/feel is right for themselves. I am sorry to tell anyone this, but the "prophet" is just a person. It is not up to any person to tell you what you should do with your life. I know many will argue that God himself is speaking through this person to relay his message, but he is a human being, just like the rest of us. As long as you are not hurting others, what a person does with their body/person is their own business. No one elses. That being said, it is damn near impossible not to judge people. I mean, we are surrounded by all these different people, we can't help but look at someone and think "Oh, look at her, she's fat (she must be lazy)" or "Dang! She looks like trailor trash" or "Can you believe she's smoking when she's pregnant??" and so on. Don't say you don't, everyone thinks this way in some form or another.
Wasn't being harsh, just stating my reality which is for, i have gotten equal judgment from just about everyone on this planet. Just as she did, which could also be considered harsh. Not my intention. I know no one writes these rants to be harsh and I don't think anyone comments on them intending them to be harsh. I wrote it with a light hearted attitude. I agree with everything you said though. It is true and a really good point that we will receive judgment from those that we're around the most.
ReplyDeleteDear Sarah,
ReplyDeleteI empathize with you. It is so difficult to feel singled out and judged especially when those judging you do not know your circumstances. I'm sorry that your friend judged you and gave you such a hard time about getting a tattoo. I can imagine that what she said really hurt you. It was wrong of her to ask how you would pay for it and then jokingly ask if you were paying for it with sex. That was uncalled for.
I, too, have been in situations where I have wondered the same things you wondered in your rant and asked the same questions you asked in your rant. Questions such as, "What happened to common sense and the golden rule? What happened to Jesus said love everyone? And I, too, have thought, "If you have nothing better to do than to be judgmental about what I'm doing, perhaps you should talk to your bishop.....Let he who is perfect among you cast the first stone." So this was all very well said and I enjoyed your rant very much.
I have a friend that has fallen on hard times and she has felt unrighteously judged by others because she is on food stamps. I know she wishes people could understand what you understand about not judging others. People have said mean things to my friend because she's on welfare and it hurts her feelings. She doesn't like the fact that she's on food stamps, but without them her family wouldn't be able to pay their rent. They've sold their home and their cars and they have nothing left to sell. (Except for her wedding ring which she has considered pawning). They do, however, still have their cell phones since they are on an inexpensive plan and her husband's cell phone is absolutely essential to his job.
Although my friend hates being a burden to tax payers, she doesn't know what else to do. The money they save from not having to buy food helps them to pay their rent. Even with that they barely get by. Her husband works really hard. He has two jobs and he works almost 60 hours a week. Unfortunately for them, however, his two jobs don't pay much. His last paycheck was for two hundred dollars. Both of his jobs pay him commission only with no salary or hourly wage. He works long hours in the hope that his meetings with potential clients will someday result in money for the family. But there is no guarantee. The family hates living this way, never knowing how much money they can count on coming in--relying on family to help when their car breaks down and friends to provide clothes and their church to help with diapers and laundry detergent. For the last three years my friend's husband has been looking for new employment without any luck.
But my friend isn't unhappy. She's not angry at her husband or angry at God. She does miss her old van and her old house and the convenience that comes with having money, but she loves her husband and her children and she is happy nonetheless. When her relief society president voted in a FB poll that expressed her opinion that people on welfare should be drug tested, she took offense. When someone else expressed their view that people on welfare shouldn't have cell phones, she was hurt. But she knows who she is. She knows she's not a bad person and she's not out to live off the taxpayers dime. She knows the Lord is aware of her needs and is the one providing for her everyday. She often is amazed at how when they need something, the Lord sends someone to provide it for them. And when they cry because they don't know how they're going to make it, the Lord sends just enough hope to keep them going. Through this trial my friend has been taught humility, faith, gratitude, obedience, and how to truly rely on the Lord for every needful thing.
ReplyDeleteAlthough my friend has been hurt by the unrighteous judgments of others, she forgives people who do not understand what she has been through and is going through. She listened to a talk on forgiveness last week that reminded her that forgiveness is an important virtue. President Hinckley has said it may be the most important virtue on earth. The talk was given by C. Terry Warner and was called "Why We Forgive." It's available on CD at Deseret Book. She loved when he said the following words, "To hallow my life Christ taught me to endure sorrow rather than to cause it, to restrain anger rather than heed it, to bear injustice rather than inflict it. Evil multiplies by the response it seeks to provoke, and when I return evil for evil, I engender corruption myself. The chain of evil is broken for good when a pure and loving heart absorbs a hurt and forebears to hurt in return. The forgiveness of Christ bears no grudge. The love of Christ allows no offense to endure. The compassion of Christ embraces all things and draws them towards himself."
So with that I wish you all the best. ::hugs::
wow. very beautifully said Amanda
ReplyDeleteI was traveling and just got around to reading this one. I have a thought that hasn't been made- First of all, Thank you Sarah and Amanda. Fantastic Rant and very touching. (No offense Emi.----that was a joke btw, actually Emi, you make very valid & true points about how we judge people. I didn't know you had in you.) I'd like to add. Do not ever confuse Mormons for the church. Everybody thinks there view of the gospel is the exact way to do it. Don't get lost in the Dogma. There are plenty of places were tattoos are part of the culture and therefore acceptable in the church, i.e. Samoa, New Zealand etc. It's a culture thing not a doctrine thing. In our culture tattoos have been seen as rebellious or counter- culture and that's the only reason they were frowned upon. Get your tattoo, take the sacrament and serve the lord. Congratulations on your sobriety. I admire you and your courage.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know what I "have in me" ? You don't even know me (another example of judgement perhaps?)
ReplyDeleteHave you remained clean?
ReplyDelete