Halloween Rant

Only 3 more days!!!!

Since I am on a staycation, and in honor of the best holiday ever, and because I am just generally lazy, I am going to randomly list some of my biggest Halloween pet peeves. Feel free to add to the list if I forget anything.

~I'm going to start with my all time biggest pet peeve about Halloween. This way if you get bored and stop reading you'll have at least read about this one. Trunk or Treats!!! It's not the actual Trunk or Treat event that bothers me, so much as the fact that people will have these events on Halloween night. Parents will take their kids to a Trunk or Treat INSTEAD of Trick or Treating around their neighborhoods. This is a largely Mormon custom, but has been adopted by other churches and even some family oriented companies. I know that Halloween is all about kids getting their candy, and many parents are just too lazy or self absorbed to actually take them door to door. But the closer I get to adulthood ( and no, that doesn't mean I'm actually growing up) I think a lot of the fun is to see neighborhood children come to the door to beg for candy. I love to see children dressed in costumes, to see their eyes light up as you give them some "good" candy instead of the nasty hard pieces of bubble gum, and to hear their laughs and screams as they look at all the Halloween decor. People that use Trunk or Treat's as an easy way out of their parental duties not only rob the children of some great memories, but they also ruin the experience for those of us "adults" that delight in decorating and distributing sugary snacks. And a side note to my LDS brothers and sisters, it is bad enough that we are criticized and ostracized from the community on so many other points but to not allow our children to participate in this night of neighborly bonding goes against all the things we are taught each Sunday about loving our neighbors and befriending those around us!! Repent you sinners!!! ;)

~Leaving your lights on, but not answering the door! Seriously, how hard is it to just turn your lights off. If you are such a cheap bastard that you can't hand out even the nastiest of candy, at least have the decency to turn off the lights. We can hear you in there watching the Lifetime channel, we know you're home. Stop wasting our time! And if you have an automatic porch light that doesn't turn off, and unscrewing the light bulb is too advanced a task for you, then at least get out your box of crayons and scribble a note that says " Child hating Grinch lives here".

~I know how old I am, don't ask me if I think I'm too old to be Trick or Treating. If I really thought I was too old to do it, do you think I would be knocking on your door?! Has anyone ever responded to your ignorant query by saying " You know what?! You're absolutely right! I didn't realize that I was too old to be asking for free candy. Thank you for showing me the light. Allah be praised!!"?

~I understand that we live in difficult times financially. I appreciate peoples willingness to participate in Halloween in anyway possible. But for the love of all that is holy, please do not hand out homemade popcorn balls to strangers! First of all, gross! Secondly I don't know you, I don't know where your hands have been, and I don't know what kind of disgusting creatures live in your home under the guise of "house pets". Thirdly, I grew up in Southern California. We had to go through our candy each year looking for holes in wrappers that could have been made by needles because there were people that thought it was hilarious to inject PCP or LSD into candy and give it to children. And anything homemade or any fruit was immediately discarded by the parents because of numerous reports of douche bags hiding razor blades in apples and popcorn balls. Luckily, here in the great state of Idaho, those types of "tricks" aren't as prevalent, but that doesn't mean I'm any less leery.

~Once every 7 years Halloween falls on Sunday. I understand and appreciate the whole "keeping the Sabbath day holy". But it needs to be publicly decided, and adhered to, if the holiday is going to be celebrated on Saturday or Sunday. Boise generally does celebrate on the Saturday before, but there is nothing more annoying than going Trick or Treating, knocking on the doors of the homes that have the lights on, and instead of yummy treats receiving a lecture about how Halloween isn't until tomorrow. If you're not going to participate on Saturday, or if it is decided to celebrate on Sunday and you choose not to participate, then follow standard protocol and turn off your lights! Don't think that your soap box speech to little children just wanting some candy is going to change society. If you want to bitch about it, write a blog. ;)

Have a safe and happy Halloween!

Cya in 7